


There is a Crack in Everything

by SirLadySketch



Series: Coding and Keyblades [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Companion Piece, Gen, M/M, Minor Aerith Gainsborough/Cloud Strife, Minor Cloud/Leon, Minor Demyx/Xion, Modern AU short stories, Tags may change as new stories go up, minor SoRiku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-01-10 14:06:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12300699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirLadySketch/pseuds/SirLadySketch
Summary: A collection of short stories that fit within my"How the Light Gets In" modern AU fic, but don't quite fit within the main story itself. These are mostly drabbles that I write between chapters to keep the mood light as the main story gets progressively darker. Ratings are everywhere from General to Explicit, and will be marked as such at the beginning of each chapter. I'll also let you know if they're set within a specific chapter range.As with the main fic, the focus of these stories is generally Axel/Roxas, but I have a couple of short stories that involve a couple of other relationships, too. I can't promise immediate results, but I'm always happy to get prompts on my Tumblr (SirLadySketch).Thanks guys! <3





	1. The Struggle is Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're starting these off nice and fluffy! This could fall anywhere between Chapters 4 and 12, although it probably would be closer to around 9's events. Rated T for Axel's terrible use of innuendo and puns and generally being a terrible flirt.  
> Mostly this was an exercise in "How many quote from the game can I stuff into this?"

“Why did no one warn meeeeee?” cried Demyx as he nursed an aching shoulder, then sulked off to the sidelines.

“You did really well!” Roxas called to him, even as the next player stepped into the ring. Demyx stuck out his tongue, slumping against the wall and gratefully accepting the drink Namine offered him.

“Silence, traitor!” he shouted, but Roxas just gave him a thumbs up and a grin before turning back to his next opponent.

“I mean… you know that he’s basically a fencing champion, why would it come as a surprise to you that Roxas is really good at Struggle?” she asked. “Ohh, Seifer’s up. I wonder how long he’ll last this time.”

“This time?” asked Axel, watching the tall blond boy posture for his friends and adoring crowd. Roxas simply waited, arms crossed. Axel whistled, then let out a cheer of his own. “Roxas, alright! Fight fight fight!” Roxas turned, giving Axel a bright grin before turning back to face off against Seifer, but Axel still managed to catch a glimpse of the blush that dusted Roxas’ cheeks.

“Yeah, every time Roxas comes to the court, Seifer shows up and challenges him,” she explained. She sipped her drink, watching Roxas uncoil as Seifer finished shouting and got into position. Then, Seifer moved, and she sighed. “He says he’s been training to beat Roxas, and I know he goes to the gym, but he only lifts weights and runs around. And when he fights, he uses the same moves, over and over. You’d think he’d figure it out by now.”

They watched Seifer charge down the court, arm extended like a lance, as though he planned to impale Roxas on the blunted bat. Roxas waited, arms loose at his sides, simply watching Seifer get closer and closer. Then, at the last minute, Roxas sidestepped the blow by ducking below the attack, using the momentum of his twist to drive the struggle bat into Seifer’s stomach.

There was a collective “oof” as everyone sucked in a breath sympathy. Seifer, winded and stunned, sank to the pavement, clutching his stomach. Roxas dropped the bat off to the side of the ring and crouched beside Seifer, whatever he was saying lost under the general shouting of the arena.

Roxas held out a hand to help Seifer up, but it was batted away as the tall blond got to his feet. Seifer’s friends called for a rematch from his side of the ring, and Seifer waved at them, his other hand subtly rubbing the spot Roxas had whacked with the bat. Seifer turned to give Roxas a parting shot, but stopped mid-taunt. Roxas held out his hand again, smile on his face.

Seifer shook his head, gave him a gentle punch in the shoulder instead, then sauntered off to rejoin his friends.

“ _My turn,”_  laughed Axel, jumping off the wall and picking up the abandoned Struggle bat. Namine and Olette giggled, sharing some secret between them, while Demyx, Hayner, and Pence stood up to cheer their friends on.

“DESTROY HIM!” shouted Demyx. “USE AGGRESSION!”

“Isn’t that kinda the point?” laughed Axel. Roxas grinned, the flush still in place as Axel stepped up against him in the ring.

“Decided to try your luck after all?” he asked, twirling the bat around his fingers and giving Axel a cocky grin. Axel gave a dramatic sigh.

“I’ve been given these icky orders to destroy you,” he lamented. He rolled his shoulders, loosening his muscles, then widened his stance, ready for an attack.

Roxas was fast. Axel knew this, of course, having watched the previous Struggle matches and seeing him move against his opponents, but he almost missed blocking the hit that was meant for his head. Fortunately, years of living with accident-prone Demyx and using art pencils that liked to roll off the table at every opportunity had honed his skills as well. Well, maybe not as much as Roxas’-- the blow still forced him to take a step or two back, but he was still very much in the game.

Roxas jumped back, bat extended as though this was a fencing match, keeping his movements loose and fast by bouncing on the balls of his feet. He was watching Axel closely-- granted, Axel had already lasted longer than his previous three opponents by not falling on the first hit-- but Axel could see tension that hadn’t been there before. Was Roxas… _nervous_?

Axel tested his theory by taking a slight step forward, and Roxas darted back a step as well. His eyes flicked up briefly to look into Axel’s, the flush deepened, and he dropped his eyes away from Axel’s face, biting his lip.

Axel let a grin sweep across his face, chuckling under his breath. Oh, this was going to be so much _fun_.

“You seem to know your way around a Struggle staff,” he said, running a finger down the foam of his weapon. Roxas followed the movement with his eyes, and the flush deepened. _Like wheedling Demyx into doing the dishes by promising soap bubbles_ . “But are you just going to keep _beating_ it, or are you going to show me some fancy _thrusts?_ ”

“Uh, --I mean, I--  It’s just, _thrusts--_ wh-- What??” Roxas choked out, taking a step back. Axel followed along, stepping forward as Roxas physically reeled from the banter. Roxas brought up a hasty swing to push Axel back, but the movement was sloppy, and Axel easily batted it away.

“It’s just that you seem so _handy_ with the bat, I can’t help but wonder if there are other things do, too,” Axel purred, low enough that only Roxas would hear him. The blond’s blush grew alarmingly deep. “I know the Academy has a bunch of sports teams like soccer and baseball. Play any _ball sports_?”

Roxas coughed, whatever retort he had dying in his throat. Axel took a step back and switched the bat to his other hand, giving Roxas a minute to recover. The kid should not be this easy. He was clearly going to need to toughen Lux’s defenses against innuendo and bad puns if the boy was ever going to make it through his 21st birthday.

“Lux! Don’t yield to this loser!” shouted Seifer from the sidelines, and Axel frowned, throwing the kid a dirty look.

“ _Loser?_ Who’s the one in the ring, buddy?” he called back.

But something in Seifer’s voice snapped Roxas out of it-- maybe he suddenly remembered that he was in the middle of a Struggle match being watched by his friends and a bunch of strangers. Maybe he realized that Axel was _trying_ to throw him off his game by teasing him. Maybe he didn’t want to see how far Axel was willing to take the banter in public.

Whatever the reason, the match ended pretty quickly after that. Axel managed to block another attack, but Roxas had training and practice, and Axel’s clever tongue only got him so far. The match ended with Roxas knocking Axel’s knees out from under him, then holding the bat under Axel’s chin. The crowd cheered as another victory was tallied under ‘LUX’ on the scoreboard.

Axel looked up at Roxas, smirk on his face, wondering if he could get one last parting shot into play before he let Roxas get on to fighting whoever else stepped up to challenge him. He licked his lips, trying to think of something witty to say about not being into PDA when Roxas’ eyes widened.

Apparently Axel’s earlier taunts had worked and Roxas’ mind was now in the gutter, since he seemed to realize what their position would look like in any other situation. Roxas squeaked-- a legitimate, high-pitched yelp-- and dropped the bat, turning and walking swiftly off to the side of the ring. He mumbled something to the announcer about needed a quick break, and the crowd cheered as he disappeared behind some of the tents, presumably to go for a quick bathroom break or something.

Axel got to his feet and strutted over to where everyone waited, grinning from ear to ear. Demyx sighed.

“You did better than me,” he offered, and Axel laughed, resuming his seat on the wall next to Namine. She leaned in, keeping her voice low.

“You have to tell me what you said to get that sort of reaction,” she whispered, and he gave her an innocent look.

“ _Me?”_  he asked. “I just complimented him on his handling of the Struggle bat, and asked him if he was good at all kinds of sports.”

She giggled, shaking her head. “I can only guess _how_ you said it. Poor Roxas, he’s not used to this sort of attention.”

Axel grinned, watching a calmer, much less cherry-red Roxas take to the Struggle arena once again. He very pointedly did _not_ look over in their direction, which only made Axel cackle, “The struggle is real.”


	2. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Demyx connects some dots.
> 
> Rated G and it's completely indulgent fluff. Set during the sort of time-skip paragraph at the beginning of chapter 8

Demyx knew he wasn’t always the sharpest scalpel in the surgery kit, but he wasn’t _completely_ oblivious. At least, not all the time.

Like, he could tell when Aerith was heading out on a date with Strife, because she always had a certain bounce to her step when she visited her patients, and she put on perfume and brought an overnight bag tucked under her desk until she left for the day. _And_ he noticed that time that Axel ate the last of the toaster strudels and tried replacing them with wild cherry pop tarts (not cool, by the way.) He also had a lingering suspicion that Bubbles might actually be Bubbles II or even III, but he didn’t want to think about that too much. That lie, he could live with.

So, he knew stuff! He could tell when something changed, AND he was usually pretty good at figuring out the implications of these changes:

  * Aerith skipped down the hallways ‘cause she was finally able to start moving on after two years of mourning, and Cloud made her happy (somehow).
  * The poptarts meant that Axel was lazy and didn’t feel like going to the store that was 20 minutes away by car, so he grabbed replacement breakfast foods from the convenience store a block and a half away.
  * But he was also a nice guy, because not only did he co-adopt Bubbles and help take care of him, he also … ” _took care of Bubbles”_  when, you know, it was necessary, so that Demyx didn’t have to flush him down the toilet.



So yeah, he noticed stuff. That’s why he _knew_ something had changed when a random song started playing in the middle of their dinner preparations. He vaguely recognized it, some pop tune with peppy lyrics and an upbeat chorus-- not something on any of his personal playlists, but he could get the appeal. Thing was, it didn’t really seem very Axel-y. The beat was there, yeah, but the lyrics...

Axel wiped his hands on the dishtowel and reached over to pick up his phone, silencing the song as he accepted the call. He turned, leaning back against the counter as he greeted the person on the other end of the phone with a casual “Hey.”

Demyx resisted the urge to turn around to snoop on their conversation, and turned his thoughts inward instead. Ok. New ringtone…. new acquaintance? But Axel hadn’t mentioned meeting anyone new, client or otherwise, and he only added a ringtone to someone he intended to keep as a long-term contact. So, that begged the question, did he change an existing contact’s ringtone, and if so, why? And why _that_ song? Axel took the selection of ringtones very seriously, so there had to be some sort of meaning behind it.

As Axel kept talking to the mystery person on the other end of the phone, Demyx went back to preparing stuff for stew. How did the lyrics go? Hmmm… he started humming the song under his breath, trying to remember the words as he went. He remembered parts of the song distinctly, actually, since he sometimes substituted _heartless_ for “heartbeat,” making up words about their band’s adventures instead of singing about--- oh.

 

OH!

 

_...oh???_

 

He nearly chopped his finger off as the realization came to him. He let the knife fall to the cutting board instead.

 

Axel, oblivious to the monkey wrench he’d thrown into Demyx’s mental gears, lowered the phone. “Hey, Roxas wants to know if we’re still good for Thursday night.”

“ _Roxas??”_  Demyx repeated, nearly choking on the name, but he covered up his surprise with a cough. He cleared his throat, and gave Axel a thumbs up. Axel shot him a ‘ _you ok?’_ look, but Demyx just grinned and went back to chopping potatoes. He hummed as the potatoes went in, then switched over to the carrots.

Axel rolled his eyes, then went back to his conversation. “Yeah, we’re good.” A pause. “Well, sure, the more the merrier right? I mean it’s her house-- Mm, probably, yeah. Just lemme know what you want us to bring-- right, well, I’ll make sure we get them on the way over so SOMEONE,” he gave Demyx a pointed look, “doesn’t eat them before then. Yeah, sounds good, catch you later.” Axel hung up, tossing the phone onto the table and heading back to the pile of dirty dishes. “We’re supposed to bring chips, salsa, and some sort of chocolate cookies-- Namine’s request.”

Demyx shot him a sly smile, still humming the song under his breath. Axel ignored him. At least, he _tried_ to ignore him, but Demyx could see the frustration building, because he _knew_ Axel knew that he knew _something_ , and Axel’s curiosity would get the better of him. It always did.

Thirty seconds later, Axel let out a resigned sigh, turning away from the sink. “Alright, _what_?”

“Hmmm?” Demyx drawled. “I dunno what you’re talking about.” He dropped the carrots in and ducked into the fridge to pull out more mushrooms and peppers. Axel didn’t buy it.

“You’re acting like a damn cat in the cream,” he said. “What’re you up to?”

“ _I’m_ not up to anything,” replied Demyx. He waved his hand in the air. “ _You_ , on the other hand…”

“...If you’re gonna be an ass and not tell me, fine, whatever.” Axel picked up his phone, pulled up a picture, and showed it to Demyx. “Let me just remind you that I _just so happen_ to have these pictures that could accidentally get leaked to a fan page by an anonymous source.”

Demyx went pale and _lunged_ across the countertop, grabbing at the phone. _“YOU WOULDN’T!”_ he cried, all thoughts of teasing Axel gone. He _had_ to get the phone. “You told me you erased them!!”

“What, and lose out on all of these precious memories?” chuckled Axel, swiping through the illicit gallery. “I mean, if I deleted them, we’d forget about your exciting adventures as a barista-- that apron always did wonders for your figure. And I’d forgotten about the TGI Fridays gig, you had so many damn pins! Aww, and here you are as first chair…. I never even knew bright blue tuxes were a thing ‘til that night you walked on stage.”

“Axelllll,” whined Demyx. He huffed, clasping his hands together to entreat Axel to mercy. “You can’t put those online, think about my rocker image!”

Axel raised an eyebrow. “Dude, your profile picture on your band’s _official_ website is you dressed up in fucking paopu fruit and sea salt ice cream-themed scrubs.”

“It’s a good picture!” said Demyx. “And besides, I like that outfit…”

“Well, you’re lucky I’m a good friend and will uphold my promise to keep these off the Internet per your request.” Axel spun the towel and gave Demyx a light swat across the face. “Now what the hell were you grinning like an idiot about?”

Demyx laughed, his grin spreading across his face once again. “I just…. realized something, that’s all.”

“...dude,” warned Axel, holding up the phone. Demyx shrugged.

“I just…. I guess I just wasn’t expecting it?  I mean, _Roxas?_ Really?” He held up his hands, palms out. “Not that I have anything against him, he’s a good kid! It just… surprised me, I guess?”

Axel pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dem, dude, we’ve talked about this. Sometimes you keep half the conversation up in your head and it makes it hard for the rest of us to participate in the dialogue. Slow down. Explain. What about Roxas?”

“ _Roxas!”_  laughed Demyx, emphasizing the name. “I mean, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because you guys are always talking or texting or figuring out times to hang out, but… I guess I’m slow sometimes.”

“Dem…” Axel growled.

“You have a thing for Roxas!” Demyx grinned at the slight flush that spread across Axel’s cheeks.

“What makes you say that?” Axel asked, leaning against the counter. Demyx beamed, holding up a finger.

“Like I said, _constant communication_ .” Another finger went up. “You hang out a couple of times a week, which is, like, crazy often for you since it takes you like a MONTH to hang out with Saix and the rest of the old gang.” Another, and this time Demyx didn’t even bother trying to suppress the smirk. “ _Heartbeat.”_

“Heartbeat?”

Demyx spread his arms wide, exasperated that Axel wasn’t connecting the dots when they were _clearly_ there for all to see. “You changed his ringtone to a song that LITERALLY says ‘ _What if I never get a chance to say I miss you?’”_

Axel shrugged, tucking the phone away. “He plays the song a lot, I guess I’ve sort’ve come to associate it with him.”

“There’s no use in denying it,” Demyx argued. “Dude, you have it _bad_.”

Axel walked around the countertop to lay his hands on Demyx’s shoulders. He looked him in the eye, squinting as though he was searching Demyx for something. “Dem,” he started, “Demyx. Buddy. Remember the day after your triple shift that we carted your ass back from the hospital and Roxas tagged along to get a ride home?”

Demyx nodded. “Vaguely,” he admitted. (He’d been pretty worn out, long shifts did that to you.) Axel patted one of his shoulders.

“You remember how, the next day, I asked you to tell me more about him-- what he did, who he hung out with, what he liked to do?”

“...sort of? What? I was _tired_ ,” Demyx said. Axel rolled his eyes.

“And it never crossed your mind to wonder _why_ I wanted to know more?” asked Axel. Demyx felt the slight tightening of his fingers, and knew that Axel was resisting the urge to shake him. He laughed, shrugging off Axel’s hold (just in case.)

“I mean, when you put it _that_ way I guess it’s sort of obvious but--” he cut off, the implication of the timeline catching up with him. “Wait, you’ve had a thing for him for _three months_ and you haven’t made a move?”  
Axel stepped back, folding his arms across his chest. “Despite what you think, we don’t share _constant communication and hang out all the time_. He’s shy, I don’t wanna spook him if he’s not into me, too. And with everything that’s been going on, I didn’t think he’d appreciate the additional stress of me asking him out.”

“Sex is a great way to destress!” chirped Demyx. He laughed at Axel’s grumpy glare. “But yeah, I guess I see your point, things have been kinda crazy with Ven and his schoolwork and stuff. BUT you should definitely ask him out.”

He nodded, then turned back to the stove…. Which he’d forgotten to turn on. His hands flew to the sides of his head in panic-- dinner wouldn’t be ready for _hours_ now. “Oh maaaaaan!” he sighed.

Axel peered over his shoulder, watched Demyx click on the burner, then echoed Demyx’s sigh. He reached into the bookshelf to pull out a folder of takeout menus.

“Ok, while you work on _tomorrow’s_ lunch and dinner, I’m gonna order something. What do you say to….” he pulled out a leaflet at random and skimmed the menu. “Subs?”

\- - -

 

“You should ask him out on his birthday,” Demyx advised out of the blue a few hours later. Axel looked up from his canvas and put the paintbrush down. He frowned.

“Why, is it soon?” he asked, washing out the brush and drying it on a rag. Demyx strummed out a few chords on his guitar, humming along with the music.

“It’s in two weeks!” he said. “And it’s his 21st, so Namine said they were planning to go to a bar or something to celebrate. His sister and cousin’s coming-- did you get to talk to Xion at all while she was here? I mean, I know things were crazy, but I think you’d like her. Anyway they’re all coming to celebrate and it’s the perfect time to ask. Get yourself a nice mixed drink to steel your nerves, ask him out, and if he says no you can always tell him he was drunk and imagined the whole thing-- if he remembers in the first place.”

Axel frowned. That… well, it wouldn’t be the bravest way to ask out Roxas, but it did give him plausible deniability if Roxas turned him down. Not to think that he _would_ say no, since he had a pretty strong suspicion Roxas was interested in him, too, and he’d never asked Axel to stop flirting. That is, Roxas had always blushed and looked embarrassed but also sort of pleased with all the flirts and terrible puns, so it was worth a shot, right? Plus, parties were always a good way to get people to relax, have a good time, and if it was a big one---

“SHIT!”

Demyx jumped as Axel leapt up from his seat, paintbrushes scattering everywhere.

“What? What is it? Is there a problem?” asked Demyx. Axel picked up his phone and sent off a rapid message, then waited for a reply.

“I only have two weeks to think of something for Roxas’ birthday,” said Axel, running fingers through his hair as he went through the possibilities. He paced in front of the coffee table and Demyx watched. “ _Plus_ we have to make sure his 21st is amazing---”

His phone rang and he picked it up, a relieved smile on his face. “Hey, Namine. So, what’re we doing for the big birthday party? … yeah, great. Look, I need to make sure we can reserve it, but Luxord could probably set us up with a private party in the rooms upstairs. ...Yeah, I can do that. What did you--- Yeah. Yeah, I have a couple of ideas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Axel's new ringtone for Roxas is "Heartbeat" by Satellite Stories ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMyN8Bm0Ro)


	3. Well In Hand (Explicit Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set immediately after chapter 5, and before chapter 6. With everything going on and Namine’s not-so-subtle suggestion that maybe he has a really bad crush on Axel, Roxas has a lot on his mind. Still, he thinks he’s got the situation well in hand…
> 
> Tags for this chapter: EXPLICIT, Roxas overthinking things (as usual), masturbation, imaginary boyfriends, shower sex, handjobs, imaginary!Axel's terrible puns

Aerith had been right-- Ven hadn't woken up in the night, but for the first time in as long as he could remember, Roxas was too preoccupied to really notice.

He’d spent a restless night tossing and turning on the cot set up in Ven’s room, scenes from the evening playing out in his head when he closed his eyes, refrains from the music blurring into dreams that slipped away when he gave up and decided to head home. He left the hospital in a bit of a daze, giving Ven a quick goodbye and barely registering Lexaeus’ farewell as he headed into the early morning light.

He leaned his head against the glass of the trolley as he rode home, thinking over the previous day’s events. Ven had woken up and recognized him, which felt like major progress, even if nothing really happened. He’d had a chance to talk to Xion, and her upcoming long weekend visit would be an exciting three days, even if they just hung out in the hospital, waiting for Ven. Namine had convinced him to go out and have some fun. He’d enjoyed the concert a lot more than he thought he would, although the evening left him with as many questions about…. _everything_.

Like, he still wasn’t sure if it had been one band or three, but the music had been good, the company had been friendly, and the drinks hadn’t been too over-priced. He’d been invited back for later concerts, which, given how much fun tonight had been, would make his weekends far more exciting than sitting at home after visiting Ven. He’d been pleasantly surprised to discover that Demyx had a better voice than he’d anticipated, and Larxene and ‘Bossman’ were less scary when they were halfway through a rum bucket. And Axel, he’d---

_Axel matched Demyx’s moves in time with the music, hips rolling in liquid movement to the beat of the song. Axel caught him looking, winked, and closed his eyes, losing himself in the music again. Was it his imagination, or had he turned to give Roxas a better view of his butt as he moved?_

_Shit_.

**SHIT.**

Roxas swallowed again at the memory, his mouth going dry. He tried to focus on other things, staring out the trolley’s window and watching the familiar scenery slip by. Not much was open at this hour, and the streets were relatively empty of people and other traffic. If it weren’t for the three people sitting around the car, he’d have the trolley completely to himself, too. It made sense, given the time. Rush hour wouldn’t start for another hour at least, and he’d be back home and well into his work before then. Or maybe napping. If he was going to meet Strife for practice this afternoon, he’d probably need to get some real sleep.

_You know who to call if you ever want a good time._

Roxas coughed and crossed his legs, and he rode the rest of the way home with his overnight bag clamped down securely on his lap.

He avoided eye contact with the other passengers as he disembarked, keeping his head tucked low and shouldering his bag high. He kept his pace brisk and got to his apartment in relatively good time, though it barely registered as he tossed down his stuff and headed into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He noticed the takeout in the fridge as he filled his glass-- apparently Axel had forgotten his leftovers, so he’d have to text him, remind him they were here. Had it really been only yesterday? It felt like a year had passed since he'd eaten lunch with Axel.

 _I just give the customers what they want--- clearly I’m a_ **_lovable_ ** _guy._

Roxas added some ice to his water. A lot of ice.

He took a few long, fortifying gulps to cool off, then headed back into the living room to collapse onto the couch. He rubbed his hands over his tired eyes, ran his fingers through his hair.

Ok.

Ok, so…. Maybe Namine was right. Maybe he’d been trying to ignore the fact that he kinda did have a crush on Axel, who apparently enjoyed teasing his friends with innocuous comments that could be interpreted in many different ways. Like, the lovable guy comment was _clearly_ a play on the whole ‘haha I have hearts all over my apartment’ thing, but added with the grin and the eyebrow waggle….Was Axel flirting? Or was it that Roxas’ sort-of-crush had him grasping at straws and finding signs of affection?

And did it really even matter? Despite what he’d said to Namine, he wasn’t going to risk their friendship by making it potentially weird. And if he really thought about it, like he’d promised, well… he already knew he was _only_ going to think about it and wouldn’t actually act upon it.

Ignoring it would probably be the best plan of action, but maybe it was his sleep deprived brain, or maybe it was getting called out by his best friend about his apparently _raging_ crush that was obvious to her before he even acknowledged it as a possibility of a thing at the back of his mind. Whatever the reason, his mind kept spiraling back to the thoughts of Axel. Axel’s shameless grin as he danced with abandon to each and every song, the fluid way he moved with the music, and the absurd amount of confidence and contentment as he moved among friends, finding his element and burning bright on the technicolored dance floor. Axel laughing about something stupid, or bumping into Roxas when he wasn’t getting into the music enough.

Roxas tried to think about it rationally. He’d seen plenty of people dancing to music. Cloud had drilled a hyper-awareness of body language into their training, so he was used to watching people to an almost stalker-ish degree. Specifically, watching people for physical clues of what they intended to do, and then using that information to anticipate their moves so that he could react in time. But _physical responses_ to those observations, those were new.

Even now, he could feel the rising flush on his face while the rest of his blood headed in the opposite direction. Just the damn memory of the Axel and his jeans were already starting to get a little uncomfortable again. ...He did have a nice butt. And Roxas’d gotten an up close and personal appreciation of it each and every time he’d grabbed a ride on Axel’s motorcycle.

 

_Axel grabbing him and dragging him flush against his back, telling Roxas to hold on tight and look over his shoulder. He could feel the heat of Axel through the layers of clothing between them, his crotch more or less pressed up against Axel’s ass and the hum of the bike beneath them as they drove. The smell of leather and old coffee and machines, of pigment and some sort of minty shampoo as he clung to Axel’s back._

 

He sucked in his breath, pulse picking up. He scrubbed at his face with the palms of his hand, and groaned into them as he exhaled. Damn Namine for putting the idea in his head. Damn her. He needed some damn coffee to clear out the cobwebs from the night before-- maybe he could stop back into that little coffee shop with the hyper brunette girl on his way over to the gym.

 

_What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?_

 

**DAMN IT.**

 

A shower. A nice cold shower where he could rinse off the grime of the concert last night and stave off any thoughts of how else Axel might move if he shifted those hips with a lot fewer layers of clothing getting in the way. Roxas rolled off the couch and headed into the bathroom, wincing at the abrasive rub of fabric against sensitive skin. He turned the taps full blast and stripped down as the water began to warm (he wasn’t a complete masochist), then he turned his attention to the, ah, _issue at hand._

The cool air hadn’t seemed to make any difference, he was still at attention-- well, halfway there. He _could_ just ignore it and shower, just think about homework and coding and inventing new ways to piss of Leonhart, and eventually things would cool down.

Or… he could take care of it. He was alone, there wouldn’t be any interruptions, and really, why not? It’s not like he hadn’t, ah, _dealt_ with this sort of thing before, and he’d welcome the numbing calm that came after releasing all of that, um, tension.

...Was it weird to think about someone who didn’t think of you in that way while you, ah, ‘took care of things’ if they were the one who got you in the situation in the first place?

Not that he hadn’t, um, dealt with this sort of thing before. It’s just that his previous experiences had more or less just been focusing on the feel of things, a couple of strokes and squeezes to see him through to the end.

He’d tried thinking about someone specific years ago-- once-- but his mind had kind of wandered off in the middle of the fantasy, and since then he’d never really been interested in anyone enough to, um, get this sort of immediate response at the mere thought of them.

He was half-tempted to call Namine and ask her about the etiquette of these sorts of things since she was the Psych major and she’d had to take an entire course about sexuality and sociology, but somehow he didn’t think she’d appreciate a phone call at six in the morning about whether or not it was ok to masturbate while thinking about someone without their explicit permission beforehand. Actually, she probably wouldn’t appreciate that call at any time of day. There were limits to her patience, and he’d probably get the lecture about how she was training to be an art therapist and suggest he start painting penises or something to release his confused emotions.

He wasn’t really into painting, so really, it came down to the question of whether or not _Axel_ would mind. If, through some terrible series of events, Axel found out that Roxas thought about him while jerking off in the shower, would Axel be upset? Or would he laugh it off and make some sort of terrible pun? _What if he wanted to watch when Roxas did it again?_

 

Then he realized that if he spent any more time about the morality of masturbation, he would end up with a cold shower regardless of how he set the water temperature. He stepped inside.

 

For a moment, he just stood there, letting the water pound against him and wash off the dirt from yesterday. The bar hadn’t been that grimey, not really, and the cot had been relatively comfortable, but there was just something about running around the city that made him want to come home and hop in the shower. He poured out a splat of shampoo, and started a vigorous scrubbing of his hair.

Ven had always laughed about it, saying that maybe Xion had the better idea, choosing a career that had her out on boats and in the water almost every day. ‘ _You realize that the most exciting part of being a code monkey working for the Fuzz is when you change your PC’s desktop, right? When you get a new mug, or put up a few decorations for holidays? Maybe you should find a job that keeps you moving and outside, instead of being crammed in a crappy cube for 10 hours a day.’_

But even if the city made him feel gross, Roxas _liked_ his life in Radiant Gardens. He liked his classes-- well, for the most part. He enjoyed being able to walk anywhere he wanted when he needed something. He liked not having chores like mowing the lawn, raking up leaves, or watering plants. He liked the friends he made here, and being able to go out and do stuff with them. Heck, he was going to meet up with the gang later this afternoon to get ice cream--

 

_Axel had been so busy telling a joke that he hadn’t noticed the ice cream melting until Roxas pointed it out, at which point the redhead quickly lapped up the dribbles and ran his tongue along the popsicle before popping the thing in his mouth to clean off the rogue drips. Axel spent the next ten seconds or so on ‘drip control’ as he called it, licking the soft treat with innocent abandon and enthusiam._

 

Annnnd just like that, Roxas’ erection was back in full. Axel probably hadn’t meant to look like he was deep-throating his ice cream, but it left Roxas with _so many_ visuals and things to think about. Like... what if Axel ran his tongue along _him?_

He traced the path of the imaginary lick with two fingers, remembering Axel’s face as he lathed the ridge of the popsicle. Roxas shivered, his fingers stopping at his tip, thumb rubbing against it as he imagined Axel’s mouth brushing up against him. Would Axel stop to press a kiss against him, then give him a tentative lick? Or would he pull away to leave Roxas flustered and uncomfortably hard, teasing like he always did?

Roxas chuckled under his breath, leaning against the shower wall, because he already knew the answer to that question, at least. Axel would say he needed to do some ‘drip control’ or use some other lewd innuendo, and then he would probably see how much he could take in one go. He made a fist and slid into it, imagining the grin on Axel’s face as he sucked, hard, before pulling back. Of course, his mouth probably wouldn’t have the rough callouses and knicks of Roxas’ hands; his throat would be warm and tight, but better yet, his mouth…

Roxas sucked in a breath, thrusting forward again, thinking about Axel’s tendency to stick out his tongue as he thought, the way he bit his lip when he wasn’t quite sure about something. Another thrust, this time his grip a little tighter. Would Axel use his teeth? Not to bite or hurt, but to heighten the sensation? Another thrust, this time letting his fingernails graze the sensitive skin as he slid in, then out. Or would Axel be a tease and focus on one area at a time?

Roxas loosened his grip, fingers pulling back to linger on the tip of his cock again, massaging his lightly weeping head. Axel would probably use his tongue and lips with deliberate and devastating effect, but then again, those weren’t the only things at Axel’s disposal.

Roxas _liked_ Axel’s hands. They were slender, graceful things with the long delicate fingers of a pianist, which no doubt helped him as he worked on his drawings and ink paintings, or when he tattooed the delicate details into his clients’ skins. Roxas knew for a fact that they were strong, swift, and could only imagine what they might feel like as they wandered over his body. Where would they go, if Axel’s mouth was otherwise occupied? Would he let them wander over Roxas’ stomach, or would they hold onto Roxas’ hips to keep him in place? Would he use them along Roxas’ length in tandem with his mouth, or would they creep back further?

 ...Where would Roxas want them?

 Or would Axel want to take Roxas in hand instead, leaving his mouth free to trail kisses and bite marks along Roxas’ throat, chest, and navel? Roxas thrust into his fist again, imaging Axel standing behind him, hand wrapped over his as they rocked back and forth. Would they have music on in the background? Axel seemed like the kind of guy who would want to ‘dance’ to music. And Roxas could dig that, except he’d have to draw the line at using Demyx’s music-- he’d never be able to look the man in the face again, and Demyx, being the kind soul that he was, would probably think he’d done something to upset him.

 

_Axel’s hips thrusting in time with the music, a slow, rolling movement that captured Roxas’ attention and left the music a low, muted sound as he focused on the vision in front of him._

 

He moved in time with the memory of that song, more or less completely negating his oath from five seconds ago. ….maybe if they just kept it to the one song, which Roxas could play over and over in his head as the imaginary Axel behind him rolled his hips into Roxas, his long fingers wrapped around Roxas’ cock, moving in time with the music.

Roxas panted, the pressure starting to build in his stomach as he imagined the burn of flesh against flesh, and the experience of Axel’s searing body heat pressed flush against his back as they moved together at a rising pace. Of course, that wouldn’t be the only thing he’d feel pressed against his back.

He kept one hand in place-- imaginary Axel held him there and encouraged a slightly tighter grip-- while the other trailed back, one knuckle running down the base of his spine to brush against his entrance. Would Axel want to fuck him? Would he _want_ to be fucked by Axel?

He lost his rhythm at that thought, realizing it hadn’t occurred to him until now that he hadn’t even considered the possibilities of what they could do fooling around in this fantasy scenario.

Last time, he’d thought about a girl. They were young and she was one of the few people who refused to treat him like some sort of damaged goods when the three surviving Luxes came to live on the islands. Of course, once he’d gotten to know her the crush had passed into admiration and friendship, but not before that one night he’d imagined taking her on a romantic walk along the beach, only to collapse onto a blanket in the sand where they’d start making out until their clothes magically disappeared.

In _that_ fantasy, it was pretty straightforward. He’d be the one on top, and she’d be the one writhing in ecstasy below him as he gave her the most mind-blowing orgasm his 14 year old brain could conjure up. Not that he’d managed a mind-blowing orgasm for himself-- he remembered abandoning the fantasy halfway through and just focusing on the tightness of his muscles and the build towards release. It had come, but it hadn’t been all that spectacular, and he hadn’t thought of her like that again.

But with Axel… well, he’d never actually considered the fact that he might be into guys, too, since he hadn’t really felt anything towards anyone _ever_ in the years after he’d gotten over his short crush. He knew he wasn’t asexual, since he was willing to give sex a try if he liked the person enough, but he’d never had the interest to pursue it from anyone. Was he Axel-sexual? Ax...ual?

...there was probably a word for it, but his erection was starting to get a bit painful, the too-taut feeling that had started like a warm pool of heat starting to falling into a pulled-muscle ache. He tightened his grip again, the imaginary Axel reappearing behind him with one hand on his cock, and the other… _oh_ . Roxas was on the Internet enough to know that these sorts of things usually went better with lube, so he didn’t try to _press his luck_ (he scoffed, thinking that Axel would probably be proud of that one), so he imagined Axel’s other hand back in front, and let the other slide over his chest and navel as thought about how Axel’s length would press up against him as they moved.

Axel would probably be mouthy, too, talking during sex and making terrible puns even as they worked towards climax. Roxas was too out of sorts to think of anything witty, however, so he just imagined the way Axel might say his name as they thrust forward together.

 _Roxas_ …

It’d be a low moan, probably, maybe his breath would hitch on the vowels and maybe he’d draw out the ‘s’ as they picked up the pace. Roxas tried to match imaginary Axel’s speed, although it was hard to coordinate with the growing ball of tension in his stomach, his body starting coil up for what felt like a big finish.

He could almost feel Axel’s lips on the back of his neck, his breath coming out in short, sharp pants.

_Roxas..!_

There’d be a little more urgency in the tone this time, the voice more needy as Axel started getting closer to completion, too. Roxas moved both hands to the front, trying to imagine how Axel would touch him as they crashed against each other, moving even quicker and with less coordination.

**_Roxas!_ **

It was the thought of Axel calling his name as he came that did it. Roxas cried out as he followed imaginary Axel into completion, his movements stuttering as he spurted out over his hands and onto the wall of the shower. He sagged against the tiles, vision blurring as his muscles clenched and twitched, a flood of warmth bursting through his body, starting from his cock and moving up to his head and down to his toes.

The water was lukewarm by the time Roxas came off of his white noise high. Most of the shampoo had washed out and he was finally starting to soften, and his body felt absolutely _languid_ as he propped himself up against the wall. He numbly retrieved his washcloth and wiped away the mess running down his stomach and thighs, brought leaden hands up to rinse out the last of the shampoo, then struggled to summon the energy it required to shut off the taps.

He wrapped up in a towel and then headed into his bedroom to flop onto the bed, wet hair and all. His pulse still thumped at full speed, blood taking its time to return to its proper places. He lay there, fighting off sleep to try to take in everything.

So… today was a day of discoveries.

Apparently he liked Axel. Like, _really_ liked Axel.

In fact, he liked Axel enough to imagine Axel sucking him off, and he would be ok with the idea of getting fucked by Axel. And he would probably want to try to return the favor, too, since, you know, he gave that girl that mind-blowing orgasm that one time in his head.

And not that he really had any experience, but he’d _probably_ be ok at it, since he was pretty used to moving quickly and putting power behind his thrusts when he went after an opponent. Afterall, a sword was supposed to be an extension of your body, so it went to follow that you could use the same moves with an _actual_ extension of your body… right?

Cloud would probably kill him for trying to think of ways to use fencing moves for sex.

He sighed, remembering that he’d promised to practice with Strife later in the afternoon, but he really didn’t feel like it. He knew he should get up, get dressed, and go be productive and do _something_. He hadn’t seen Hayner, Pence, and Olette for ages, and what better time to see them then before summer vacation ended? And Namine had mentioned going to a new cafe that had opened up close to her grandparents’ place, so they could meet and talk over everything. Or he could talk to Demyx about the concert last night, or call Axel---

Fuck.

He looked down at himself as he thought about Axel (and all the things Axel might do) and saw that he was getting hard again. Fortunately, he was still feeling pretty sensitive from the first round, so it only took him a few minutes to finish again. As he lay in his now-gross sheets and cooled off for the second time in under an hour, thoughts of going out with friends were quickly being outvoted by the siren call of an afternoon nap and ditching practice with Cloud altogether.

His phone buzzed, a picture from Namine, one of those panoramic things that took in more than the usual frame. He didn’t remember her taking it, but he wouldn’t-- in the picture, his focus was strictly on Axel.

He groaned, then typed back a response.

**_I think you might be right._ **

Her response was almost immediate. _About what?_

**_I have it bad for Axel._ **

Her response was a laughing emojii. _You think?_

 **_It’s fine, I have the matter well in hand_ ** he typed back, and Namine, being his best friend and knowing him better than he did himself, apparently, sent back a quick reply.

_Don’t overdo it, you’ll get blisters :p_

**_SHUT UP_ ** he typed back, flushing in irritation and embarrassment. **I** **_**’** m not asknig him out. _ **

_You two are going to date and then one of you will propose and you’ll get married and I am going to be your best man. Or bridesmaid. Do guys have bridesmaids? I’ll have to check_

**_Please don’t_ **

_You’re right, I’d have to fight Xion for bridesmaid position. Ok, best man it is._

**_Youre incorrigible_ **

_ <3 _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They won't all be porn, I swear!


	4. Life of the Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set immediately after the events of Chapter 8, essentially Axel's POV of what happened later that night. However, it's recommended that you read this AFTER chapter 9, so you can get the full punchline of that chapter.

Axel was discussing cleanup logistics with Luxord when Xion tapped him on the shoulder.

“You’re next on Roxas babysitting duties, bye!” and she was gone, apparently on a mission and not to be slowed down by minor details like telling him where, exactly, he was supposed to watch over her wayward brother.

Fortunately, it wasn’t hard to find him. Roxas was leaning over an almost emptied glass of what looked like another one of Luxord’s milkshakes, and for a minute, Axel thought he might’ve fallen asleep. But as he approached the table Roxas’ head bobbed up, and a huge, goofy grin spread across his face. The blue glitter added an extra layer of ridiculousness to the whole thing, and it took a lot of effort to resist pulling out his phone to get a picture. Roxs wouldn’t appreciate blackmail photos on friends’ phones.

Axel slid in across from him, glad to see that Roxas hadn’t actually passed out while they weren’t looking. “Hey birthday boy, how you holding up?”

“This is an AWESOME party, you’re, you’re like, the BEST at parties. The best,” Roxas giggled into his drink, and Axel laughed, gently pulling it out of the blond’s fingers and pushing a bottle of water in its place. Roxas stared at the replacement, confused. “What’s this?”

“An apology in advance for the migraine you’re gonna have in the morning,” said Axel, unscrewing the top when it was clear that Roxas was in no condition to handle it himself. He frowned, taking a look at the remnants of the rum bucket. Larxene, Luxord, and Setzer had clearly outdone themselves tonight. He hoped Demyx would be sober enough to play medic-on-hand if things had gone too far.

Roxas stared at the bottle in his hands, perplexed. Axel sighed, pulled out the straw from the rum bucket, then stuck it in the bottle. “Drink up,” he said, trying not the laugh as Roxas chased the elusive plastic with his tongue. “Oh god, I hope you don’t hate me in the morning.”

“Wouldn’t hate _you_ ,” replied Roxas, still attempting to wrangle the straw. Axel took pity on him and reached over to hold it in place until Roxas managed to grab it at last. Then he sat back in his seat to watch, making sure that most of the water got into the kid and not all over the front of his shirt.

Roxas was _not_ gonna feel so hot in about 10 hours. Axel briefly wondered if he should try getting pain meds in him before he inevitably crashed, then decided against it. If there was gonna be vomiting-- and there probably was, based on personal past experience-- the pain meds wouldn’t help until after he’d been able to flush some of the alcohol out of his system.

Axel looked out into the crowd to see how the other Lux was doing, scanning the crowd, wondering if he’d even see her amid all the tall people. But then there was the pop of the glitter gun, an angry expletive from Luxord, and Axel narrowed in his focus to see Xion up on stage, glitter gun in one hand, some sort of fizzing drink in the other. She didn’t even look _flushed_. The girl hadn’t been joking when she said she’d been to some wild parties on the beach to build up her tolerance levels.

Demyx climbed up onto the stage beside her, holding out a mic while he tried to wrangle his guitar over his head with the other. Xion didn’t miss a beat. She threw back the drink and set the empty glass on the floor in front of her, tucked the glitter gun down the convenient gap in the front of her shirt, then took the mic. Axel couldn’t make out the song they started, but based on the way the two heavily leaned on one another to share the mic, and the slipshod chords that managed to filter into the sound system, that was probably just as well.

Roxas let out another giggle. “I like this song,” he said, apparently recognizing it through his drunken stupor. “Reminds me of you.”

Axel laughed. “Yeah? In a good way, I hope?”

“Mmm,” agreed Roxas, focusing on his sister and Demyx. He smiled, nodding more or less in time with the song. “I listen to it a lot.”

Axel… probably shouldn’t read more into that than was there. Roxas was clearly drunk and saying all kinds of things that he might regret in the morning, and Axel wasn’t the kind of guy to take advantage of people while they weren’t at the top of their game. He could always tease Roxas about it later, see what turning it on in the background while they sat together would do to Roxas’ composure--

“I have it on my favorites list.”

Well, shit, if _that_ wasn’t as good an opening as any, he didn’t know what was. Demyx was right-- if Roxas didn’t have any interest, he could laugh it off and hope Roxas wouldn’t hold it against him in the morning, if he remembered at all. And if there _was_ interest, well, he could pursue that when Roxas wasn’t sporting a massive headache.

He leaned back in the booth again, trying not to sound too invested in how Roxas replied. “Your favorites, huh? Does that mean you like me, too?”

Roxas gave him a ‘DUH’ roll of the eyes. “You’re the best, remember?”

“Right, right. Best at parties,” he laughed. Roxas shook his head, staring off into the pulsing lights of the bar.

“You’re the best at _everything_ ,” he said, sounding surprisingly sober for someone who smelled like an alcoholic lemon drop. “Best at dancing, best at jokes, best at making Ven laugh, best at ice cream.”

“I… didn’t know ice cream was a thing to be ‘best’ at,” admitted Axel, unable to suppress a grin. Roxas just beamed at him again, then went back to his water bottle. He cleared his throat to get Roxas’ attention again, and then decided to go for it.

“So, Roxas, think I could be the best at some else, like, I dunno, dating? Are you seeing anyone?”

Roxas grinned around the straw, watching him closely. “Yeah.”

“So do you wanna--wait, what?” Axel felt the flirty proposition fall from his lips as his brain caught up with Roxas’ words and processed what ‘yeah’ meant. “You’re seeing someone?”

Roxas nodded, still watching him with that brilliant, adorable, and very drunken smile. Axel tried to ignore the knot in his stomach, swallowing around the sudden lump in his throat. _He knew it_ . Knew Roxas was probably seeing someone, maybe that Olette girl, although Roxas had said they never really saw each other that often, and she didn’t ‘like’ Roxas like that from what Axel could tell. Or maybe Namine? They both swore up and down there was nothing there but there was no denying that there was a certain closeness or _something_ between the two of them.

Roxas very carefully pushed the water bottle to the side of the table, then leaned forward. For a minute, Axel was afraid he was about to witness Lux sibling #2 lose everything in front of him, but Roxas was still _smiling_ , and normally people didn’t smile when they felt like they were going to vomit, and certainly they didn’t smile like _that_.

“I am seeing someone,” Roxas repeated, leaning forward even further. Axel leaned in as well, prepared to catch the kid if he fell. He was unprepared for Roxas’ sudden grip on his shoulders, though, which seemed to stabilize him a bit. Roxas locked eyes with him, and Axel held his breath. “I’m seeing you right now.”

And then he pulled Axel closer to give him a kiss.

Or… he tried.

Axel did have to catch him as Roxas overestimated his center of gravity and landed half across the table. If it had been a narrow booth, Roxas probably would’ve made that move without too much difficulty, no matter how drunk he was. Demyx had set up the balloon fortress in the party booth, however, which meant a wider surface to fit more people. Roxas only got about halfway before he got stuck on the edge of the table.

Axel looked about to see if Luxord was watching (there would be hell to pay if Roxas scratched to top of the table, birthday boy or not). He didn’t see him, though, and after a bit of tugging and guided sliding around the U of the table, Axel extracted Roxas from his precarious position.

Now that he was on Axel’s side of the table, Roxas went to work, climbing onto Axel’s lap and scooting forward, trying to find a good position. Axel sucked in his breath, knowing that Roxas probably hadn’t _meant_ to grind against him, but knowing that if Roxas had been even a little more sober he’d be very much aware of the suddenly very hard, very sensitive bits between them.

Fortunately, Roxas was not, in fact, anywhere near sober enough to reflect on sudden erections, as he was busy trying to angle Axel’s face downwards for another kiss. One hand slipped through Axel’s hair while the other gripped his hip-- Axel was pretty sure that was to help him stay upright in his mission for a birthday kiss, rather than any overtly sexual advance.

And who was he to deny the birthday boy? He went along with it, leaning forward to capture Roxas’ lips as he moved his hands to Roxas’ back to steady him. Roxas moaned against him, shifting closer still, and Axel sucked in some air, feeling Roxas’ own reaction brush against his stomach. The kid should _not_ be allowed to wear such loose-fitting pants, Axel decided. He should wear tight jeans and suffer like the rest of them.

The kiss was… well, it kinda sucked, although that was to be expected. Roxas was drunk and sort of fumbling around, clearly out of his element in this territory, and while Axel would’ve been happy to show him how it was done, it would probably be better if it was done at a time that Roxas was sober and not grinding on him in front of friends and family.

“Hey, I think we should talk about this fir--” Roxas didn’t let him finish, taking the advantage of his open lips to try sticking his tongue into Axel’s mouth. Roxas whimpered against him, the taste of paupu and strawberries palpable as he slid his tongue against Axel’s. ...How many of those damn milkshakes had he _had?_ They were good when they were non-alcoholic, but when Luxord got going, you could start seeing pink elephants if you weren’t careful. Axel broke the kiss and gently pushed Roxas away, more resolved than ever that it was time to get this pumpkin off to bed and on a water diet asap.

Roxas whined as Axel pulled him back, but Axel planted a kiss on his forehead and ruffled his hair, mollifying him somewhat.

“We’ll talk about it later, ok?” he promised, trying to shift Roxas off of his lap. “Now’s not really the place or time for this conversation.”

“Will you come home with me?” asked Roxas, panting and breathless and _fuck_ if he didn’t look adorable. Axel swallowed, using a bit more force to slide Roxas completely off his lap and knowing that _that_ particular expression and moue of disappointment would keep him going for a while.

“I will definitely be taking you home, yes,” he agreed. Fortunately Roxas didn’t get the implied ‘ _but to sober you up, not in the way you’re thinking_ ’, which was probably just as well, since Axel had a feeling it would be tough getting the blond up the stairs without some sort of help. He looked wiry, but Roxas was _heavy_ , and Axel wasn’t particularly good at lifting dead weight. “Wait here, ok? I’m gonna get your stuff. Keep drinking the water.”

He slid out of the booth before Roxas could complain, then made a beeline towards the stage. Namine met him halfway, shit-eating grin on her face as she held out a hand. He sighed.

“Really?”

“I _told_ you,” she said, laughing as Axel made a show of getting out his wallet. He handed her a ten munny note. “He’s liked you for ages, and since neither of you were doing anything about it, I knew that song would get him to act. And when he wants something, he goes for it.”

“So I guess you saw that, huh?” he laughed, feeling a slight blush on his cheeks. She giggled, then patted him on the shoulder.

“I think he’d usually have a bit more finesse, though-- and he probably wouldn’t have chosen to make out in public until he’d established that you were interested in him. Pretty sure he’s had enough for the night.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” he said, looking back towards the balloon fortress but unable to see Roxas behind all of the latex and mylar. “Are you staying at his place tonight?” She shook her head.

“I offered, but Xion said she’d be able to watch over him if he got into trouble. I have a key though, so I can let myself in early in the morning, help them all deal with the aftermath of tonight. I have no idea where Sora, Kairi, and Riku got off to, but I’ll wrangle them and bring them around when I find Xion.”

“I’m here! No need to wrangle! Great party you guys, thank you!” Xion joined them, fizzing drink still in hand. Her other arm dangled around Demyx’s waist, helping him stand as he hummed out a few random strains from his songs.

“There’s an extra room upstairs if you need it, mate,” offered Luxord, handing Demyx a water, then turning to give Namine the rest of the six pack. “You know you’re welcome to it.”

“He doesn’t live that far away, and I’ve got the car, so I can do multiple pick-ups and drop-offs if needed, no worries,” Axel said. “Maybe we could stow the gifts and stuff here for a while, though, pick them up tomorrow?”

“We can do that,” agreed Luxord, wandering off to take care of it.

“And I really don’t mind getting the others, I already told them I’d take them home, and Pence said he’d handle Hayner and Olette,” said Namine, waving them off. “Go take care of the birthday kids.”

Axel looked into the crowd, getting a glimpse of the rest of their party members. It looked like Riku was showing off model poses to an enraptured audience, lounging against the wall in a relaxed slouch, staring off into the distance. Or… no, he was watching Sora and Kairi, who were attempting to teach Hayner and Pence some sort of complicated dance while Olette filmed the whole thing on her phone. Axel turned to Namine, who waved him on.

“I’ve got them covered, don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll round them up in a bit and bring them around to the apartment, I’ve got a key and we already made up the sofa bed so they can just crash when they get in. Just take care of those two.”

“Hey! I’m sober!” cut in Xion. She hefted Demyx up a little higher on her shoulders and he laughed, bringing his other arm around to complete the hug. She patted him on the head, then attempted a shrug, despite Demyx draped across her shoulders.  “Well, ok, I’m not sober, but I’m still functional, it’s fine. Trust me. We’ve been to some pretty crazy parties. Are we bringing Demyx, too?”

Axel pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, probably should. Dem, get your shit together and meet us out front. Remember that it’s _your_ car, so no vomiting. You remember what your car looks like, right?”

Demyx muttered something about not being treated like an idiot, but Xion spoke up before he could get too irritated, tugging him back towards the entry hall.

“We’ll meet you by the car! Go deal with Roxas.”

Roxas was still sitting upright when Axel got back to the table, which was honestly more than Axel had anticipated or even hoped for. Granted, he had managed to slouch onto the table with his water bottle tucked in his crossed arms, straw back in his mouth and about half of the water gone. He perked up immediately when Axel came back over and offered to help him out of the booth.

“You ready to go?” he asked, watching Roxas to see how well he’d be able to walk, or if he’d need a hand to make it to the car. Roxas perched on the edge of his seat, watching him closely, face flushed.

“I thought you’d left,” he said, a slight pout giving his reply a bit of a whine. Axel snorted, reaching forward to ruffle Roxas’ hair. He came away with a handful of glitter, but it seemed to make Roxas relax a bit more.

“I told you I’d come back, didn’t I? I’m taking you home,” he said, holding out his hand again.

“You’re coming home with me?” Roxas looked at it, looked up at Axel, then smiled, his whole face lighting up as he took Axel’s offered hand to get to his feet. “ _Awesome.”_ He wobbled, grabbing onto Axel’s arm for support, but managed to stand his ground. He didn’t let go of Axel, though, and Axel made no move to remove him, although he did reposition him so they could walk out at a reasonably steady pace.

They waved goodnight to the others as they passed, then headed out into the late summer night. The weather hadn’t cooled that much even hours after the sun had set, the humid air cloying and filled with the scents of a night at the bar-- beer, smoke, maybe some unsavory bodily fluids, and the distinctive odor of a recently fired glitter gun.

Axel stopped a few feet from the car and called out. “Demyx, may I remind you that this is YOUR car that we’re getting into,” he said, wrapping an arm around Roxas to keep him close and move him out of another direct hit of glitter again if there was to be an incoming attack.

Demyx and Xion peeked up from  around a parked car, glitter gun poised and aimed towards them. Axel shifted Roxas behind him, and Roxas promptly leaned against him and hummed in content. Axel tried not to think of the noises Roxas was making as he glared at Demyx.

“Did you forget where the car was? Because I know you weren’t going to shoot your designated driver when he could leave you here at the mercy of Luxord and cohorts.”

“Aw man, you’re such a killjoy,” Xion said, coming around the car and putting the glitter gun away. “You’re no fun at all.”

“He is _too_ ,” mumbled Roxas against Axel’s back, bringing his hands up to both hold onto Axel and half-hug him where they stood. “He’s the _best._ ”

“Yeah, the best at killing the mood,” she complained, but she dutifully tugged Demyx to his feet and led the way to the car, waiting while Axel assisted a stumbling Roxas down the sidewalk. Roxas leaned heavily against him as he got the keys out, groaning as Axel pried his arms off and tucked him into the backseat.

“Trust me when I say you’re gonna feel it pretty bad in the morning, but you will not regret listening to me about drinking more water and going to bed,” said Axel. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna make sure you get home and properly hydrated and shit so you feel a _little_ less like death when you wake up.”

Demyx scrambled in beside Roxas, pointing Xion towards the front. “I’m a trained medic,” he explained, leaning heavily against Roxas. “I can observe him for like… alcohol poisoning and stuff, in case he starts foaming at the mouth or something. WAIT. Xion, you like fish, right? Has Roxas told you about Bubbles?”

And so it came to pass that Axel had to sit through an endearing (if somewhat drunken and definitely rambling) account of how Demyx had gotten his fish, picked out the bowl, the decorations, and chosen the perfect place in the apartment so Bubbles could see everything that was going on. And Xion, bless her, listened, promising to come by before she left so she could formally meet Bubbles.

Axel would probably need to warn her that it was Bubbles IX, just in case Dem asked her how long goldfish usually lived and if it was normal for fish scale patterns to change over time. But he could do that while they went out tomorrow (or technically, later today), so long as he could get a minute or two alone with her.

Roxas stayed silent throughout the conversation, and Axel kept checking on him in the rear view mirror to make sure everything was ok. He seemed to be awake-- sort of-- but he had a smile on his face, he didn’t look like he was going to be sick anytime soon, and he was quiet, so it seemed like he’d be alright, once they got him home and tucked into bed.

Bed. Hm. Axel looked at Roxas again, the passing street lights sparkling in his hair as the car rode by. Knowing his ridiculously high cleaning standards, Roxas would probably flip his shit if he woke up in a bed full of glitter, and Demyx had gotten the cheap, shitty glitter that went _everywhere_ and was a bitch to pick up even with a decent vacuum. It was the shiny shit that would show up weeks after first contact and would still appear in unusual and uncomfortable places.

He’d have to get Roxas to change, but he probably wasn’t up to a shower on his own, and there was _no way in hell_ he was going into the bathroom with Roxas in such a touchy-feely mood to help him get rid of the worst of it. They could try to get _some_ of it off, maybe, so long as Roxas didn’t think he was initiating something (which, god, he _wanted_ to do, but he wanted to do it when Roxas was sober, not about to pass out). But they wouldn’t be able to get it all (or most) of it off without a shower, so Roxas would just have to deal with his new, glittery bedsheets life for the next few months. It was a sacrifice Axel was willing to make.

They got to the apartment in relatively good time, and Demyx clambered out to grab shotgun while Xion and Axel peeled Roxas out of the back seat. While he wasn’t completely asleep, Roxas was definitely close to it, so after a few fumbling attempts to prop him up on either side, they gave up. Axel scooped Roxas up and hefted him over his shoulder, leaned over to pick up the bag with some of the smaller gifts, and Xion took out her keys to get them up to the apartment.

Roxas… was kinda heavy. He was short, yeah, and he looked wiry, but damn, he was compact, apparently all muscle under his baggy t-tshirt and jeans. Axel contemplated that as they made their way up the stairs. On the one hand, he was hoping to get the chance to admire everything close up in a more intimate setting, preferably sooner than later. On the other hand, it really kinda sucked that the apartment was _three floors up_ because Roxas was getting _really fucking heavy._

“You like my brother, don’t you?” Xion asked, and Axel almost tripped on the next step. Through sheer luck he caught himself at the last minute, and he hefted Roxas higher onto his shoulder. Roxas let out a quiet moan that sounded more sexual than pained, and Axel coughed, trying to regain his momentum.

“Yeah, I do. Is that gonna be an issue?” he asked, hoping Roxas wouldn’t take this opportunity to wake up or say something that would throw him off balance once again. Xion didn’t stop, but she did give him a quick look as she turned on the landing.

“I just want him to be happy,” she said, going up the next flight. “Namine says you’ve made him smile again, so no, it’s not an issue, unless you do something to make him upset, then we will have to sit down and have a long talk so I can decide if it ends with you swimming with the fishes.”

Axel laughed, despite himself. “Did you just threaten me with _sharks?_ ”

Xion didn’t answer, but she gave him a quick smile before bounding up the rest of the stairs. He could hear her opening the door, and by the time he’d managed to get Roxas the rest of the way up and into the apartment, Xion had already turned on some lights.

Roxas buried his head into Axel’s shoulder, trying to block out the sudden brightness. Axel looked down, feeling Roxas begin to tense up.

“You still doing ok?” he asked, and felt the shake of Roxas’ head.

“Feel like I might barf,” Roxas whimpered, and Axel stepped up the pace into the apartment. He hauled Roxas into the bathroom, got him to the toilet, and waited for gravity to take care of the rest. While Roxas focused on emptying his stomach, Axel popped his head out the door, looking for Xion. She came out of the kitchen with three glasses of water, putting one of the coffee table and giving Axel the other two.

“I have a feeling he won’t want to repeat tonight’s performance, but that’s probably for the best,” she said, going to get her own glass. “One day he’ll learn the secret to partying.”

“Which is?” Axel asked as he wet a washcloth and handed it to Roxas to wipe his face. Roxas took it without complaint, then swished some water around his mouth before spitting that out, too. He stayed against the toilet, a bit more color in his cheeks, and Axel left him leaning against the toilet to stand in the doorway so he could chat with Xion while keeping an eye on Roxas.

“Don’t drink to excess and always watch whoever is mixing your drink,” she said, then shrugged. “Also, let the bartenders know beforehand that you want all of your drinks watered down or virgin altogether, and tip well. You can’t get drunk if you’re not actually drinking.”

“That’s… actually pretty smart,” said Axel. He picked up his own glass of water and drank, then looked back at the formerly barfing birthday boy.

“So I’m thinking the only thing he’s gonna regret more than the hangover is the glitter,” he said. “Do you think I should hold him over the sink or something and wash off the worst of it?”

Xion peered at her brother, then turned her attention back to Axel. She watched him carefully, apparently coming to some conclusion, and tilted her head as she spoke.

“You’ve really gotten to know him, haven’t you? This isn’t a chance at a quickie or anything,” she said this more as a statement than a question, but Axel felt compelled to reply anyway.

“I already told you, I like him a lot,” he said. “And when he’s sober enough to appreciate it and answer after some thought, I’m going to ask him out again. If he doesn’t change his mind in the light of day, well, we’ll see where it goes.”

“Don’t worry about the glitter,” she said, not replying to his promise to ask her brother out properly. She waved a hand towards the bedroom. “Just make sure he goes to the bathroom, then get him down to his underwear or whatever, and get some water in him. I think he trusts you enough for that, so I’m gonna defer to his judgement. Once you’re done in the bathroom I’m gonna take a shower so _I_ don’t have to sleep in glitter all night. Just close the door when you’re done, I’ll lock up behind you. And we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he said, some tension easing as she gave him a smile and a wave goodnight. He crouched down beside Roxas again, who’d fallen asleep while they’d talked. “Hey, Roxas, I’m gonna go get some more water, think you can handle going to the bathroom yourself?”

Roxas mumbled something that sounded like assent, so Axel stood and took the empty glass back out to the kitchen, keeping one ear open for sounds of movement. He didn’t hear a crash, just the flush of the toilet and the faucet, and Roxas was still more or less standing when he came back with the water.

Axel smiled at the slightly confused look, and held up the water. “I got you a refill. You ready for bed?”

“Axel? ...you coming too?” was the sleepy reply. Axel sighed, hefting him up again and walking towards the bedroom.

“Not in the way you think, buddy.”

They stumbled into Roxas’ room and Axel eased him down onto the bed, propping him up so he was still in a sitting position. He went back into the bathroom for the glass, then pressed it into Roxas’ hand, urging him to drink. Roxas dutifully drank a bit at Axel’s insistence. “Think you can get your clothes off, or do you need help?”

Roxas blinked at him, then smiled, a sweet, terribly innocent smile that Axel would be dreaming about for many nights to come.

“M’glad you’re here,” said Roxas, pawing at his shirt and accomplishing nothing. Axel sighed, putting the glass of water back on the bedside and helping him tug the shirt off. A shower of glitter rained down onto the carpet, and Axel winced, knowing Roxas was gonna be pissed, no matter what his sister said. He reached over and picked up the trash can, placing it on the floor in front of Roxas.

“Think you can lean over without falling or barfing again?” he asked, and Roxas dutifully did as he was told. Axel ran his fingers through the blond spikes and ruffled through them, trying to shake out as much glitter as possible. This method seemed to work fairly well. When he helped Roxas sit up again, there were no longer patches of blue streaks in his hair. Roxas grinned at him, face flushed, and Axel quickly looked away, checking the room for literally anything else to look at. He was not going to let dopey, drunken Roxas distract him into doing anything they’d both regret later.

He didn’t bother asking about the shoes, he simply untied them and chucked them into the corner. He waited, hoping Roxas would manage the next step on his own. When he didn’t, Axel sighed, and peeled off the cargo pants, making sure to the boxers wouldn’t come off, too.

Axel had to physically stop Roxas from removing them, which earned him a confused and hurt look. “Axel, aren’t you staying?”

“Not tonight, I’ve got Dem sleeping in the car. But I need you to do me a favor and drink the rest of that glass of water, ok? Can you do that for me?”

“Kiss me?” Roxas asked, apparently still able to remember at least _that_ part of the evening. That, or he just had a one-track mind and Axel’s presence wasn’t helping.

“Drink the water and then we’ll see.”

Roxas dutifully drank down the rest of the water, holding out the empty cup to Axel. He placed it on the nightstand, then knelt in front of Roxas.

“I really like you, you know that, right? So I’m gonna tuck you in and head out so you can rest, and then I’ll see you in the morning so we can talk, ok?”

“I drank all the water,” said Roxas, pouting, but his eyes were half-closed. He looked like a sulking toddler, and the remaining sparkles in his hair weren’t helping at all. Axel chuckled.

“That you did.” He gave Roxas a gentle kiss on the forehead, ignoring the protest, and helped Roxas ease under the covers and onto his side. “Ok, trash can aka barf bucket is here, your phone is on the table, and I’m gonna refill the glass and get you some painkillers for when you wake up, ok? Anything else you need?”

“... _real_ goodnight kiss.”

Axel laughed, then leaned down to give Roxas another soft kiss, this time on the lips. It was nice, and definitely something he’d like to try again, but he’d wait until Roxas was awake and sober.

“Happy birthday,” he whispered. He got the water and painkillers as promised, then pulled out his gift from the bag and set it behind the bottle of painkillers. With one last look at Roxas, he shut off the light and headed home. Tomorrow would be interesting indeed.


	5. Life Aquatic with Xion Lux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during the morning of [HTLGI](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11437335/chapters/28983006) Chapter 9: While Sora and co. go off to see Ven, and Roxas has a spiritually cleansing vacuuming spree, Xion goes off on her own to follow up on a promise she'd made the night before.

Demyx stared out the door at their visitor with no little amount of confusion.

After the long night of drunken debauchery and fun, they hadn’t been expecting company. At least, _he_ hadn’t been expecting company, and he guessed that Axel hadn’t either, since his roommate failed to materialize at the ringing of the doorbell. Especially company at nine in the morning, when this company had been going at the whole partying thing pretty hard less than seven hours ago. And this company had no business looking so peppy and happy and excited, given that they’d probably only gotten about four hours of sleep.

Given that it was her birthday, though, Demyx probably shouldn’t’ve been surprised that Xion was in a good mood.

He just didn’t understand why she was here.

“Xion…?”

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” she asked, not bothering to wait for his reply and pushing past him to step into the apartment.

“What...?” he asked, belatedly shutting the door behind her as she took in their living room. He rubbed sleep from his eyes, trying to wake up and figure out what she was doing in his apartment, and if she really _was_ in his apartment, or if he was having a weird lucid dream or something. She seemed a bit impatient, if the foot tapping was anything to go by, but he really wasn’t sure what you were supposed to say when a girl randomly showed up on your doorstep.

“Were you really that drunk last night?” she asked, still not explaining her presence in his home. She sighed, crossing her arms. “You were answering sentences pretty well so I thought you’d more or less gotten things through your system by the time Axel dropped us off. We agreed on the way back to Roxas’ apartment that I would come over and help you improve Bubbles’ habitat, remember? Did you not set your alarm?”

He looked down, glad to see that he’d remembered to put on a shirt over his boxers. “No…? I didn’t realize you meant _today_ ,” he replied, finally managing a full sentence. “It’s your birthday! Also, I’m not dressed.”

“I noticed. It’s fine, I’ll look over your setup while you change.” She looked around the room, inspecting the art and assorted stuff they’d collected over the years. He rubbed at his eyes again, trying to wake himself up a bit more. He _did_ vaguely remember saying something about her coming over this morning, but he didn’t think she’d actually take him up on the offer. It was her birthday, so she should be out celebrating, not wasting it on silly requests.

“He lives in my bedroom.” He gestured towards his room, where his bed was probably still warm and welcoming, if he could just politely figure out a way to kick her out. Not that he didn’t _want_ to hang out with her, but… _sleep_.

“And the issue is…?”

“I need to get dressed!”

“I won’t peek, if that’s what you’re worried about. He’s in here?” she asked as she made her way into his room. She made a beeline for the tank, making ‘hmmm’ noises as she gave his aquarium setup a critical eye. He followed her into his room, rifling through his drawers to find something clean while she peered around the tank, trying to get views from different angles.

“...I’ll change in the bathroom,” he said when it was clear that she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Whatever floats your boat,” she said, already pulling out her phone to take some notes. “Hurry, though, because we’ve got a lot to do to get this little gal’s tank up to healthy levels.”

He yawned and shuffled through the door, heading towards the bathroom to splash water on his face before he changed. But his brain was starting to wake up, and her words processed as he started to take off his nightshirt. He stumbled back to the bedroom and popped his head back into the room.

“Bubbles is a girl??”

“Mm,” she agreed, not turning around. “You can tell by the shape of the area by her back fins. I mean, it’s not foolproof, but I’m pretty sure it’s a lady fish.” She turned back to look at him, and raised an eyebrow. “Are you going shirtless to the store? Bold move.”

He yelped, crossed his arms over his chest and ducked back into the bathroom to finish getting dressed. He wasn’t sure, but he could’ve sworn he heard her _laughing_ at him. He emerged five minutes later to find her opening his blinds to see where the light came in, tsking as she did. Apparently Bubbles had some big changes coming hi-- _her_ way.

 

Xion dragged him down to the local pet store, breezing past his usual section where he picked up his supply of fish flakes and into the area with the larger tanks and specialty kits. She pointed to one of the moderately sized tanks.

“At some point you’ll want to upgrade your tank to something a little bigger, since the tank you have right now is for reptiles, not fish,” she said. “It’ll be easier to get the bubbler in place and allow her more room to swim. It’ll also make it easier to add plants so her life is a little more exciting.”

“I tried putting in some marbles and stuff into the tank, but she never really played with them,” he said, peering at the large tanks. “Would it be better if I got a big tank and put more fish in it?”

“Not necessarily,” she said, pulling out one of the ammonia kits and putting it into their basket. She gave him a small smile. “There are differing opinions on whether or not goldfish actually get lonely, but they can get bored.”

“Would _you_ get more fish?” he asked, eyeing the tanks. He _had_ the room, and they weren’t that expensive….

“I would never say no to more fish if I knew I could take care of them,” she laughed, moving on to rock formations and hidey holes. “But don’t forget, my whole senior project is sort of all about MAKING more fish go to a specific area, and getting the right balance of different species to boost the ecosystem to healthy levels.”

She shrugged, looking through the tank gear and then giving him a thoughtful expression. “If you think you have time to care for them and you can keep the tank clean-- and I’ll show you what I mean when we get back to your place-- then go for it,” she said. She held up a finger to stave off further questions so she could finish. “Just know that it means more frequent water changes and clean up, and be grateful that they’re not thalassa clams, because _those_ guys really know how to poop.”

“I mean, I can make time, I didn’t realize it was that involved taking care of goldfish…” he trailed off, voice sinking. “I’ve been a terrible pet owner,” he sighed.

She patted his arm, and guided him towards the tanks along the wall. “You didn’t know any better! It’s ok, though, because you’ve got me to help. And I’ll check in on you now to make sure everything is ok and get Roxas to help you clean the tank if Axel can’t help out. Do you like the frilly plants, or the broad leaf?”

“Uh… the frilly, I guess, ‘cause it’s easier for Bubbles to hide?” he said, but he glanced back at the tanks, thinking about the shelf where his fish lived. He could move the extra books, reseat the light… “What about a medium sized tank? Would that be enough for another goldfish?”

She nodded, looking over at the wall of fish. “You’d probably want to get one about the same size as Bubbles, and maybe another filler fish or two, and you should be ok.”

She pointed at a group of fish labeled “algae eaters” and they watched the assorted animals for a time in silence. Given that most of the fish seemed content to just stick to the side of the glass, it wasn’t really all that exciting, but Demyx could see how it might be fun or relaxing to add some friends into the tank.

He looked over at Xion, who seemed content to simply sit and watch the fish-- which made sense, given that she was studying to be a marine biologist, but it was her _birthday_ . She should be out with her friends, or with her brothers, or… or…. _something._

“So why are we really out shopping?” he asked at last, peering at the different aquatic plants. “Not that this isn’t fun, but you seem to have an agenda, and while it’s great to meet someone who appreciates fish as much as me, it’s your _birthday!_ Shouldn’t you be out eating cake and stuff?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Sora and the gang are visiting Ven today, and I wanted to give my brother time to think over what happened last night so he could work out whatever it was that happened between him and Axel last night,” she explained. “I like him, Axel seems like a good guy. Hopefully Roxas will man up and admit that he likes Axel while he’s sober and they can get past the awkward drunken attempts to make out.”

And that was that, apparently. She dismissed her brother’s awkward attempts at intimacy as though they’d been talking about the weather and then walked over to the bank of snails and other freshwater critters. She read the different labels, then pointed to one of the aquariums. “These are the fish I was talking about, something to help keep toxicity levels down and help keep the tank clean. Maybe an Ancistrus or something to eat the algae, and a snail. How do you like the name ‘Sucky’?”

 

And that was how, an hour later, Demyx ended up up to his elbows in aquarium water, rearranging the gravel and plants as Xion explained the process of checking the nitrates and ammonia in the tank. His new fish seemed content swimming around in the mixing bowl for now, while Bubbles idled in another bowl. Once he’d finished, he sat back and joined Xion on his bed, admiring his handiwork.

“So ideally you’d keep doing this for a few days, but you should be ok to put them in, because your levels seem pretty good. After that, it shouldn’t be that much different than what you do at work, checking levels and stuff,” she explained. “Just make sure you clear out the gross water and watch the fish for any issues, whether that’s weird floating or biting each other or whatever. You’ll probably need to buy new plants every so often, too. Fish tend to eat them when they’re not hiding in them.”

“I p-p-pro-aahmise, ah, sorry,” he cut off the yawn as much as he could, but despite the fun morning, being back in his room reminded him of how much he’d missed sleeping in, and how much he might regret it tonight during his shift. “Sorry about that. What I meant to say was that I promise to keep you apprised of the situation, and will send you updates on how everyone is doing.”

“Long night last night?” she teased. He gave a breathy laugh.

“I dunno how you’re so chipper after partying so hard,” he admitted. “But I’m gonna need to take a nap,” he yawned. “I’ve gotta work tonight and need a bit more sleep so I don’t accidentally fall over on any of my patients.”

Xion started, a hand going up to her mouth. She jumped off the bed, moving the aquarium supplies over to the corner and picking up her stuff. “I completely forgot that you said you had to work today! I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you say anything this morning? I would’ve left!”

“Nah, s’o-ok,” he said, stifling another yawn. “I had a lot of fun today, and Bubbles is super happy, PLUS she has some friends now and the aquarium looks killer. And I learned a lot, which is always a good thing, right?” He laughed, stretching until his back cracked. “Buuuut I really do have to go pass out for a while. You flight back isn’t til tomorrow night, right? So I’ll catch you tomorrow afternoon when I get off my shift. Happy birthday, though!”

He went to pat her on the shoulder, but she gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, then headed out into the hallway. Demyx followed her into the living room to walk her out, and they ran into Axel, just pulling on his jacket.

“Hey,” he said, adjusting his sleeves and zipping up the front. “I was on my way out. Need a ride to lunch?”

“That’d be great!” she said, then gave Demyx a final wave before bouncing out into the corridor. Axel picked up a second helmet, patting Demyx on the shoulder as he headed out as well.

“I dunno what time I’ll be back tonight, if I’m not in, don’t wait up, k? And take a nap, you look like you’ve been worked over by a struggle bat.”

Demyx waved goodbye and closed the door behind them. He padded back to his room, still not really sure why she’d come to see him THAT day, but he’d had fun, so he wasn’t going to complain. He _was_ going to nap, though. He headed off to his bedroom and fell asleep watching Bubbles and Sucky making their slow, measured way around their new tank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless NaNo and mandatory word counts. Bless crack fics and weird youtube songs that break up writer's block. There's one more short fic that happens during Chapter 9, sort of a Scooby Doo style mystery thing. I haven't started that one yet, whoops. But hey! Two updates in 1 weeks is like... a NaNo miracle or something, haha.


	6. The Promised Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prequel fic, set about 2 years before the start of "How the Light Gets In." Short piece about brotherly bonding when Ven and Roxas move into their new place in Radiant Gardens after leaving Destiny Islands.

There was this saying: If you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Then again, Roxas had also grown up with the belief that one should always speak your mind. Nicely, of course, tact was of the utmost importance. His parents had always told him he should be nice when he could, and Ven told him that it was always best to tell the truth. So, when Ven turned to him, face bright and smile wide, Roxas knew he’d have to tread carefully with what he was going to say.

“This is… kinda a shithole.”

Ven’s face immediately fell, and he dropped the box on the floor as Roxas walked further into the room, giving the place a critical once-over. He scowled at Roxas, who kept walking, surveying the room with a critical eye.

“Roxas, _language_!” Ven chided, and walked over to flip on some lights. It cast the room in a yellowy light, which somehow made the shabby walls look even more unflattering. Roxas just turned to look at Ven with a raised eyebrow, making his brother sigh.

“Alright, so it needs some work,” he admitted, pushing aside more boxes and clearing a path. They’d have to move them all into another room, of course, if the movers were going to fit the couch, beds, desks, and table in the next day, but for now, they could leave them stacked.

Ven planned on working long into the night so they could straighten the place up a bit anyway-- they’d have to, if they wanted to be able to set up their computers or watch tv or cook. Of course, if Roxas wanted to repaint everything, maybe keeping stuff in boxes made more sense. They’d have to come to some sort of compromise.

“Work?” Roxas scoffed. “The place smells like the bottom of Sora’s blitzball bag, the walls are an off-color green, and the carpet looks like something Pluto barfed up. It’s gonna take a lot more than just work to make this place liveable.”

“It’s not _that_ bad,” laughed Ven, pulling aside the blinds. “We’re close to the Academy and gym for you, there’s a trolley stop right up the street if you wanna get around town, and my commute is a 20 minute walk. And come look at that view! You can see the academy from here, and the hilltop park.”

“So what you’re saying is as long as I keep my gaze outside and don’t look around inside the place, I’ll learn to love it?” asked Roxas, although he joined his brother by the window. They both peered out at the bustling street below, and off into the distance, beyond the clock tower, at the trees and fields that made up the hilltop greenspace. After a moment, he huffed. “It is a nice view,” he grudgingly admitted.

Ven laughed and grabbed him with one arm, rubbing his knuckles into Roxas’ hair while his brother squirmed, trying to escape. “It’s _our_ nice view, kiddo. And it’s gonna be great.”

“Pft, yeah, whatever,” Roxas said, twisting out of Ven’s arms to break free and stepping back into the living room. He stopped by one of the mountains of boxes, then turned to look back at Ven. “So are you gonna show me the rest of the place or what?”

Ven grinned, walking down the hallway and flicking the lightswitch to give them more light. The bulb turned on, flickered, then died with a pop. Both Luxes looked up, Roxas snickering as Ven sighed. Ven pulled out his phone and made a note, adding “LIGHTBULBS” to the growing list of odds and ends they’d need to pick up.

“Well… we’ll change the lighting, get some sunlight bulbs or something to get rid of the prison yellow lighting,” Ven suggested, and walked to the first door, pushing it open. “Look, you should get plenty of lighting from this angle anyway. Get some nice morning light and a view of the park!”

Roxas stepped into the room, taking in the space with a critical eye. It was a large size for a condo, especially one in the city, and, true to his word, Ven had given him a room with a view of the hill that overlooked the town, the part of the park that wasn’t butted up right against the posh new restaurants or shops. It was a decent sized window, too, and while it wasn’t as big as the room they shared back on the Islands, it would fit all his stuff with room to spare, and, more importantly, it was all his.

“It’s nice, right?” Ven asked from the doorway. Roxas snorted, although he was smiling, already figuring out where he was gonna stick his bed (under the window), his desk (in the corner), and the rest of his stuff (in the built-in bookcases). He looked up. Given the height of the ceiling, he could probably hang some plants or lights or something above without having to worry about bumping his head. A perk to getting a place that was carved out of what used to be an old posh house with 17 rooms or whatever. Roxas turned back to see Ven leaning against the doorframe, expectant grin on his face.

“It’s not bad,” Roxas admitted as he pushed past Ven, and he walked further down the hall to investigate the other rooms. They checked the bathroom together by popping their heads in. It was outdated but clean-- or it would be, once they were done with it. The bones were there, at least, so there was nothing a little paint and matching towels couldn’t handle. The next door opened to a small laundry room and linen closet combo, where Ven had already moved a group of boxes labeled “Towels and Sheets” and another with “Cleaning stuff” scrawled across the side.

The last door was presumably Ven’s, and when they pushed it open, Roxas walked in, noting how his brother had managed to snag the room with _two_ windows and a built-in closet. Given Ven’s three-day start in moving stuff in, his room was already more or less setup and ready to go, his bed neatly made, his books all lined up and in perfect alphabetical order, divided by topic. Even his computer setup was in place; with the extra room the new place afforded him, Ven had three monitors instead of two, and Roxas could see another table setup as a workspace for his brother’s tinkering projects.

“It’s bigger than mine!” complained Roxas, although he noted with some satisfaction that while his room had wood paneling and white walls, Ven’s had a garish green and red stripe thing going on. Ven laughed, walking into the room to turn off the light again.

“My name’s on the lease, so that’s the way the cookie crumbles,” replied Ven, herding his brother out of the room. “C’mon, wait’ll you see the rest of the place.”

“The only room left is the kitchen,” Roxas said, but he followed Ven out of the room. “And unless you have a meal ready to go in there, I really don’t care. I need food before we get back to hauling stuff, I’m pooped.”

“I have something even better,” promised Ven. They walked back into the living room and navigated through the boxes, beyond into the kitchen, which was empty, except for a few sheets of paper. Ven scooped these up and waved them at Roxas, smile on his face.

“How do you feel about Chinese tonight?” he asked.

“Takeout?” Roxas laughed, taking the offered papers and riffling through them. “Sounds very unhealthy and very unlike you.”

“Yeah, well, the pots and pans aren’t unpacked yet,” Ven said. He nudged the box with the items in question with the toe of his boot. “I’m tired and sweaty from moving stuff, and it’s just a one-time thing. Unless _you_ wanna find them and cook something?”

“I’ll get my phone.”

“That’s what I thought.”

\--

 

Four hours, two boxes of noodles, two eggrolls, a quart of wonton soup, two fortune cookies, and a whole lot of unpacking later, they sat side by side on the floor, sharing Roxas’ laptop as they chatted with Xion and Sora, who were fighting for a better view on their end.

“Send us a picture of your place!” said Xion as she pushed Sora aside, “or give us a virtual tour with the computer!”

“It’s a shithole,” Roxas said before Ven could reply. He hurried on before he could get interrupted or yelled at again for using inappropriate adjectives. “But give us a couple of days to get stuff in order and it’ll be ok. We’ll get a pic as soon as we get most of the boxes away, I promise.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that!” she laughed, then let out an angry “Hey!” as Sora pushed her out of the way.

“Aww man, it’s gonna be so lame without you guys here!” he sighed, avoiding Xion’s attempts to grapple the computer from him by leaning back and sitting on her. “Who’s gonna help me build the boat? Who’s gonna go on walks with me and Pluto? Who’s gonna--ow!” He yelped as Xion poked him in the ribs, wrestling the computer back. “Who’s gonna protect me from your sister?” came the plaintive whine from offscreen. Xion stuck out her tongue, then turned back to her brothers.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep him busy,” she promised. “ _Someone’s_ gotta pick up the chores you guys left behind, and it’s not gonna be me!”

She gave them a bright smile, although they both knew her well enough to recognize it as her ‘brave’ smile. Roxas pulled out his phone, opening the calendar and doing a quick count.

“Well, you’ve got… 3 months, or 65 days and 2 hours to get him into line, then we’re coming back for an inspection of the ranks,” he said. “If anyone can do it, we know you can.”

They chatted for a bit longer, but the time difference meant that Xion and Sora were yawning before they ended the call. Roxas renewed his promise to send pictures, and they signed off, taking in the quiet of their new place. Well, relative quiet. As quiet as a residential city street could get, anyway.

Ven got up and waded his way through the boxes and unwrapped newspapers into the kitchen, and returned a few moments later with two bottles of soda. He handed one to Roxas, then clinked his own against it.

“Here’s to the promise of new beginnings!” he said. Roxas laughed, and raised his bottle.

“I’ll drink to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never noticed that Roxas had a giant hook in his room. Roxas.... why? [ What the heck, Roxas? ](https://orig00.deviantart.net/94f8/f/2014/165/2/3/roxas__room_panorama_by_clavija-d7majfl.jpg)
> 
> Also, this was a quick prompt for someone who requested more light-hearted big brother Ven and baby brother Roxas moments. That said, reminder that **[I take prompts on my Tumblr!](http://sirladysketch.tumblr.com/ask)**
> 
> Thanks, guys!


	7. Night of Fate (See chapter warnings)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another prequel fic, set about nine years before the start of _How the Light Gets In_. This one has warning for panic attacks, terrorism, and overall anxiety things. I recommend heading over to LoveMeow's website when you're done to read happy news articles about kittens.

They were late.

They did this, of course, Ven _knew_ they did this. They went off to hang out with friends without telling anyone where they were going, but usually they at least called, or left a note. They didn’t do this normally, not when he was babysitting the twins, _not when he was supposed to know where they were_. They usually picked up their phones, checked in, _something._ It might’ve been a Friday, but Mom and Dad never let them stay out this long, not _without leaving a note and they were_ **_late._ **

He paced around the room, trying to focus on what might’ve happened. They probably went to a friend’s house. It was Friday, after all, Friday and they liked to go do movie nights with some of the people from school, although they usually cleared it with someone first. He chewed his lip, trying to calm his racing heart and slow the breaths that were coming more and more rapidly. It was gonna be ok. They were just late. Nothing had happened to them. _They were just late._

And maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Roxas and Xion goofing off and not answering their phones if he’d been able to get in touch with their parents. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he hadn’t felt the ground shake and the muffled _WHUMPH_ and rolling booms as he’d ridden the trolley back from practice, and seen the odd green aura that glimmered in the sky over the city. If he hadn’t been evacuated from his train car and had to run all the way home, home to an _empty house_ , home where the twins were supposed to be but weren’t, and Mom and Dad weren’t picking up their phones either.

 _Calm down,_ he told himself, although he also knew how effective _that_ was, telling himself to snap out of it, to think logically, to detach and determine what, exactly, he could do next. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, sunk onto the couch and lowered his head between his knees. He needed to focus, needed to focus on breathing in and out, slow breaths, stop the spots that were dancing at the corners of his vision. He wouldn’t be of use to anyone if he managed to pass out by overworking himself. If he could just stop his heart from thundering in his chest, maybe he would hear the phone ring, telling him things were gonna be ok. Maybe they really were just late.

Maybe if the air wasn’t still filled with the scream of sirens, and maybe if he didn’t run home to find every channel on the TV and radio covering multiple explosions in the heart of the city, the shopping district, the area where all the nice restaurants and stores and touristy places took up a majority of the main street. The place where Mom and Dad had gone to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, leaving Ven in charge of the brats while they spent the evening wining and dining, their first real date in _years_. And maybe if his phone calls weren’t getting the “this number is out of service” error message and the twins’ phones going straight to voicemail, maybe if he could get in touch with at least one of them, any of them, maybe then he wouldn’t panic quite so much.

But they were _late._

He rubbed sweaty palms over clammy skin, gulped in deep breaths as his vision continued to narrow. _Not now, not now, not_ **_now_ ** _, they needed him, he wouldn’t be of any use if he let himself collapse and succumb to a panic attack now, not when they were still out there, not when they were missing. Pull yourself together,_ **_MOVE_** _._

He stumbled to his feet, dizzy with the rush of blood to his head, and crawled his way over to the sink, turning on the faucet cold, splashing the chilly water over his heated skin. That helped, it fought back a bit of the darkness around the edge of his vision, helped him focus on a sensation other than bile in the back of his throat and the blood pounding past his ears. Focus. Where would they be on a Friday night?

They were young, immature, but they wouldn’t knowingly make him worry. They probably didn’t know what was going on, that there was anything wrong, that they needed to keep their phones on and _answer them so he knew where they were_ because he was in charge, they were his responsibility, if anything happened to them he would never forgive himself, never let them out of his sight again.

 _But they were_ **_late_**.

Ven could start texting their friends. He could reach out to friends and neighbors, see if anyone had any idea of where they were, where they’d been, if they were alright. He’d have to act fast, he’d read about how communications were often flooded with requests and consequently acted up or didn’t send messages at all, or dropped calls. His fingers flew over the keys of his phone, even as he booted the family desktop and waited for it to load.

It took less than 30 seconds for him to type out a quick “Have you seen the twins?” message and send it to everyone he could think of. He closed his eyes, sending out a silent prayer to whoever would listen that someone would be online at their computer, someone would know where they were, someone would reply all and give him something, _anything_ about where Roxas and Xion were.

They’d promised to stay home. Mom and Dad had left money for pizza on the table, the three of them were supposed to get dinner when Ven got home from practice. They’d _promised_ but they weren’t here, and the money was still in the cabinet by the fridge, so they hadn’t ordered food yet, so where _were_ they?

He… he shouldn’t panic. Ven closed his eyes and tried to take deep, calming breaths. He wasn’t doing anyone any favors by worrying without doing anything; think. Think. What could he do? Where could they be? What could he do to figure out **_why they were_** **_late?_**

He’d yelled at them last night. Roxas had said something obnoxious and made Xion cry, and Ven had threatened to lock them in their rooms tonight if they didn’t stop making so much damn noise. Mom and Dad had yelled at _him,_ of course, for getting angry when he was the older one, the one in charge, the one who was supposed to _know where they were,_ **_but they were late._ **

Why were they late?

What if he never saw them again? What if the last memory he had of them was fighting about something stupid? What if they got hurt, thinking he hated them, thinking he didn’t care? What if he was the only one who hadn’t been in the city when the explosions went off? What… _what if he was the only one who survived?_

He curled in on himself, slumping in the desk chair and trying to force the fear that was threatening to make him sick, make him run to the bathroom and lose everything he’d eaten that day. Despite the breathing exercises, he could feel his heart thudding in his chest, the sounds of the room getting more and more muffled as he focused on staying upright, staying awake, _staying together_.

Where were they? _Why were they late?_ It was a losing battle, he could taste bile in the back of his throat again, see the floating streaks of light at the corners of his vision, a sign that he might pass out or get sick or something and then he wouldn’t be of use to anyone, _but what if there wasn’t anyone left?_

The sound of the front door had him jumping from his curled position on the floor in front of the TV, had him running into the front hall to see a surprised but very much safe _oh thank god thank god thank god_ Roxas and Xion taking off their shoes and dropping their bags on the floor and _they were ok, they were alright, oh god, thank god they were home_. He ran towards them, almost tripping over their things as he reached them.

“Where have you _been_?” he snarled, not meaning to shout at them but _damn it_ he’d been scared and alone and they _hadn’t left a note_ , and he grabbed them and held them close, hugging them and shaking them and crying as they stood there, stunned.

“W-we were at Hayner’s p-place, watching a movie,” stuttered Roxas, eyes wide, heart pounding. “W-what happened? What’s wrong?”

Xion, pressed into Ven’s shoulder, went very still in his arms, and Ven realized ( _oh god, thank you, they’re safe, they’re ok)_ that she had a perfect view of the television from that position. The television he’d kept on, waiting to see if more information had been released. Waiting to see if they’d identified which parts of the city had been affected, if they knew what had happened, if there was word on which hospitals they would need to check to see where their parents would be taken.

“Is… is that where Mom and Dad are?” she asked, voice small, her own grip tightening on Ven’s shoulder as he buried his face between them.

“I was so _worried_ about you idiots, why didn’t you leave a note?” he asked through his tears, not wanting to answer her question, not wanting to make it real. But there were two phones he didn’t have to try calling now. Two more phones to try calling their parents, to see if they could get more information, something, _anything_. Two of them, _safe._

“We told Mom and Dad before we went to school…” Roxas trailed off, his own eyes now glued to the television in the living room. He struggled out of Ven’s grip and ran to get a closer look, turning up the volume.

>   _\--and investigators are on the scene now. Reports are coming in that nearly forty people have died and over two hundred have been injured in what appears to be a series of explosions. No word yet on whether this is an accident, or whether authorities consider them deliberate. Witnesses report that the explosions seemed to have taken place in and around the city’s new MAKO generators, but we have had no official confirmation on this. We’ve been told that the police chief will be issuing a statement in a short while. Until then, we have our team on the scene. Sally, can you tell us more about what people are saying?_

Roxas turned to Ven, eyes wide and wet with unshed tears.

“They’re not coming back, are they?” he asked. Ven wished he could laugh and tell Roxas to stop being such a drama queen, but he knew-- _he_ **_knew_ ** \-- somehow, in his gut, it would be a lie. He already knew, he could feel it, and they knew, too, but _saying_ it would make it real.

“Keep trying their phones, I’m gonna make us dinner, ok?” he suggested instead, hugging them close and guiding them to the couch. He swaddled them into blankets, turning down the tv so they wouldn’t be overwhelmed with it all at once, and slipped into the kitchen, grabbing drinks and throwing a pot of water on the stove, knowing they had to eat, even if it would taste like dust to their tongues.

He moved on autopilot, listening to the twins dutifully type in their parents’ numbers, over and over, taking turns on who they were calling, every so often answering a call from a friend to assure them that they were ok, and to give the three of them a call if they heard anything. Ven was putting the pasta into the pot when his own phone buzzed, and he picked up on the second ring, forcing calm into his voice.

“Hey, I just saw the news and got your email, are the kids ok?” Axel’s voice was tense with worry-- no matter how much he complained when they tagged along, Ven knew his friend well enough to know he liked his kid siblings, too.

“They got home a little while ago, they were at a friend’s house and had their phones off,” he said, forcing the spaghetti noodles into the pot and closing the lid. He held the phone close to his ear, lowering his voice so the twins wouldn’t overhear. “Axel, my parents were at _Crépuscule_ tonight, and we haven’t heard anything from them. Their phones are coming up as out of service.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah,” Ven agreed. He dug through the cabinets, hunting down a bottle of marinara sauce and putting it on the counter, then pulled down plates and silverware. “Is your brother on the scene?”

“He went into the office, but I think he’s just on call, supposed to help out with… you know… whatever might need doing tomorrow,” Axel said, unable to hide the slight hesitation in his voice. “He’s just in the reserves, they’ve been having him do more reconnaissance and social services stuff these days. I’ll text him and ask him to keep an eye out for you, ok? Have him let me know when they find your folks.”

“T-thanks,” Ven said, voice tight. He gulped, and tried again. “Thanks, Axel. I’ll let you know if we hear anything, too.”

“You want me to come over?” Axel offered. “I can get the gang together, we can set up base camp at your place so we can all coordinate and stuff. You guys shouldn’t be alone.”

“Thanks, but I don’t think that’d be good,” said Ven as he thought through what that might entail. “It’d be better if we have people around the city, though, just in case one area gets spotty reception. You know how crappy our phones are here, I don’t want everyone to accidentally overwhelm our system. Keep trying, and keep me posted.”

“It doesn’t have to be the whole gang,” Axel said. “I can be there in 10 if you want me.”

“No, thanks,” said Ven, feeling a small smile break through. “I’m gonna sit with the brats and we’re gonna wait until… until we know, one way or another.”

“I’m coming over tomorrow, no matter what. Meantime I’ll shoot Reno a text and see if he’s got the inside scoop. I’ll keep you posted,” promised Axel. He hung up, leaving Ven to finish making a quick meal for the three of them.

He gathered up the bowls and headed into the living room, finding the twins watching the tv, phones forgotten in their hands. There were people clearing out the rubble now, what looked like volunteer forces rescuing victims from the rubble. He pressed a bowl into each of their hands, then settled between them, trying to work up the willpower to eat his own food. He’d been right. The pasta tasted like ash in his mouth.

Xion and Roxas ate without comment, and they probably didn’t taste much of their meal either. When they finished, the put their bowls on the table, then huddled against Ven, who drew them closer, hoping that their quiet, tearful sobs would cover up his own fearful shivers. _He knew_. He was pretty sure they did, too, but no one wanted to say anything, to risk jinxing it by saying their fears aloud. If they said it, if they voiced their darkest fear, it would become true.

 _Mom and Dad aren’t coming home_.

He didn’t know how he knew, he just _felt_ it, one of those gut instincts that hadn’t ever led him astray in the past, but he could always hope, always pray that tonight was the night his intuition was wrong. There was a first for everything, right?

Axel texted him twice in the night, once to tell him his brother hadn’t heard anything, and again to suggest that he come over for company. Ven thanked him, but turned down the offer once again. The twins had fallen asleep against him after crying themselves to sleep, and while he knew he wouldn’t be able to join them, he knew he didn’t really want company, either, not even from his best friend.

He sat up the rest of the night watching the news, following the story as more information trickled in. _Terrorist attack on the MAKO generator. Sixty people dead, 125 injured, 34 of whom were in critical condition. Police are investigating, and military forces have been called in to aid with the search and rescue efforts. AVALANCHE members are being questioned for possible ties to the attack, but no arrests have been made as of yet. The mayor will be making a statement in the morning. Call the following hotline number if you have any information about what happened. The story is breaking._

They got an official notice the next morning.

That was to say, Ven sat in a half-doze on the couch, the twins cradled against him as they slept. The crisp knock of someone at the door woke them up, and they emerged, disoriented, from a fretful sleep. Ven extracted himself from the two and told them to stay put, padding over to the door and dreading what he’d find.

Axel. He blinked, the unexpected appearance of his best friend on his doorstep at six in the morning the least possible thing he’d anticipated. Axel’s face was solemn, though he gave Ven a tired smile, then pulled him into a hug.

And that’s when Ven saw Axel’s older brother and his partner coming up the path, looking grim and official and destroying the last shard of hope he’d had of ever seeing his parents alive again. Axel’s grip tightened as he felt Ven’s reaction, holding him up as Ven’s knees threatened to buckle out from under him.

“I’ve got you,” he promised, then walked with Ven back into the house, Reno and Rude following them inside without a word. Axel helped him back to the couch, sitting down beside him on one side as Roxas and Xion clung to him on the other.

Reno sat down without invitation across from them, letting out a long sigh. He reached over to grab the remote and turned off the tv, sending the room into a chilling, unfriendly silence.

“Ventus, I’ve gotta talk to you in private,” Reno said. “Roxas, Xion, would you two go with Rude, please?”

“No,” interrupted Ven, tightening his grip on his siblings. “Whatever you have to say to me, you say to them, too. I won’t keep any secrets.”

“Ven, you know why I’m here.” Reno softened his voice, his eyes cutting over to the twins before falling back on Ventus. “We’re truly sorry for your loss, but you need to understand that while you’re of legal age, your brother and sister are not. We need to discuss certain arrangements that shouldn’t be repeated without careful consideration.”

“Why don’t you guys come with me?” Axel offered, standing up and offering his hands out to the twins. Ven sagged with the loss of his friend’s support, but hugged Roxas and Xion before urging them to follow Axel. Rude followed them out the door at a respectful distance, leaving Ventus alone with Reno.

“Was it quick?” he asked, his voice no more than a croak. Reno sighed again, but nodded.

“They were found in what remains of the restaurant where they were dining. It was one of the places that had a targeted reactor, so the explosion was close. The medical teams says they probably didn’t have a chance to feel anything, if that makes it any better.”

“It doesn’t,” snapped Ven. He lowered his head into his hands, cradling it between knees. “What are we supposed to do?” he asked, voice tight, barely above a whisper.

“You’re 17, so in the eyes of the law, you’re old enough to stay on your own,” Reno said, keeping his voice gentle, but matter of fact. “But you’re not old enough to be considered a practical legal guardian for the twins. Since they’re just shy of 13 they’ll need to be put in a suitable place until--”

“You’re _not_ taking them from me,” cut in Ven, feeling his blood boil. “We just lost our parents, you can’t just take them, too!”

“It’s not a matter left up to me, Lux, it’s a matter of practicality.” Reno waved the folder at Ven, then dropped it on the table. “You don’t have a job, and even after you get whatever is left of your parent’s estate, you can’t support the three of you on your own. You haven’t even graduated high school yet, and Axel said you were planning to go to the Academy next year. How can you watch over them and support them while attending classes?”

“Then I won’t go to the Academy, or I can get a part time job while I go to school,” argued Ven. “I know enough coding that I can find stuff to do between assignments, and--”

Reno held up a hand, cutting him off. “The courts won’t see it that way. We’ll find a suitable place for them to stay for a few years while you get your degree. It doesn’t mean the system is taking them away from you, there are plenty of places in town--”

“You’re _not taking them from me_ ,” Ven repeated. He clenched his hands into fists, forcing himself to remember that this was his best friend’s older brother, and the guy was just doing his job, no matter how shitty it was. He spoke again through clenched teeth. “There has to be a better solution.”

Reno opened the folder and flipped through the pages within. “File says you have family in the Destiny Islands region?”

Ven blinked, wiping away the tears that had managed to escape. “My aunt and our cousin Sora, yeah. She’s my mom’s sister. I called them last night, told them we were still waiting for news.”

Reno nodded, clicking a pen and making a note on the paper. “Do you want the agency to contact her, to see if she’d be willing to take in your siblings? We’ll have to see if your parents left a will, if there’s anything covering this kind of situation, but having them stay with a family member who could be acting legal guardian in the meantime might be easiest for everyone.”

“I can call her again, ask her to come,” Ven agreed, throat dry. “Do you have any idea of when--” his voice hitched, and he ducked his head for a moment to collect himself. When he had things under control, he spoke again. “Do you know when they’ll release the bodies, and when we’d have the will and legal stuff sorted out?”

“It can take a while,” admitted Reno. “But we can work things out. We’ll get someone assigned to your case to help you with any legal questions, unless you choose to select your own council. We’re not the enemy here, Ventus. We want to make sure that your siblings are taken care of.”

“I won’t let you take them from me,” repeated Ven, sitting up straighter. “I know my aunt and cousin will come. But can the twins stay with me til she gets here? It’s a long flight, but she’d probably be here by tomorrow morning at the latest.”

Reno gave him a sad smile, getting to his feet. “You know I can’t legally allow you to watch over them, but I’ve got an alternative for you. My folks can have the three of you come stay at their place til things get sorted out. You all already know Axel, and they can reach me immediately if anything comes up. You look like you could use a friend right now, kid.”

“No shit,” Ven snapped, but the anger just wasn’t there. It was just a bone weariness ache over his entire body, and an empty chamber where his heart had been beating, carefree, not 24 hours ago. He swallowed, closing his eyes. _Mom and Dad are gone. It’s just the three of us now._ He opened his eyes again, locking eyes with Reno.

“I will do whatever it takes,” he said. “I will not let anyone, or anything, keep the three of us apart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This oneshot was kinda hard to write, but I’d like to think that this helps with not only fleshing out backstory, but some of Roxas’ own personality quirks and fears that affect how he thinks and acts in How the Light Gets In. I know Ven keeps getting the short end of the stick in all of these (sorry Ventus, I owe you a happy ending), but I see him as a very important role model in Roxas’ life, and that his own strengths and weaknesses influenced Roxas during his formative teen years.  
> So, even though they ultimately go live with Sora’s family for a couple of years, Ven continues to be the figure of strength and determination for the twins. And when he’s suddenly incapacitated, Roxas has to step up and fill his brother’s shoes. Kind of an overwhelming position to find yourself in, but, as Roxas discovers, it’s easier when you have friends to help you out.  
> ALSO I am down to the deadline for NaNoWriMo, hence the multiple updates. I'm gonna need to take a couple of days off to recooperate after this. @_@


	8. Happy New Years! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not quite canon, time-wise, but I wanted to write a holiday fic, dang it. Happy new years everyone! <3

“Where are we going?” Roxas asked for what felt like the fiftieth time that night. He tightened his grip on Axel’s hand, hoping that he wouldn’t accidentally get separated in the surprisingly crowded streets. He tried to match Axel’s pace which was rather difficult, considering the length of Axel’s strides and number of people milling around. Plus, Axel was walking faster than usual, although whether that was from excitement or due to the cold, Roxas couldn’t quite tell. He had to take two steps to every one of Axel’s, but he had a good grip, and Axel seemed to have mastered the art of slipping through crowds, so there was room enough to follow in his wake.

Still, Roxas wasn’t sure why the streets were filled with people, or where they’d all come from. Sure, it was New Years Eve, but it was as though all the inhabitants of Radiant Gardens had decided to take to the streets, cold as it was. Everyone was bundled up and clustered in the narrow streets with steaming cups of holiday cheer, laughing, chatting with friends and loved ones. Even some of the shops were still open, windows twinkling with lights and greenery, warm yellow light spilling over mounds of snow and ice.

Was this what the people of Radiant Gardens did for holidays? In the two years Roxas and Ven had lived there, they hadn’t actually gone out to see what was going on around town during any of the big holidays, not outside of what they saw one their way to and from school or work. The first year they’d been sick with the flu for the holidays, and spent most of their time napping or eating soup. They’d watched fireworks on the tv, dozing in and out of the news program and only catching glimpses of the festivities going on.

Of course, even when they were well, Ven never managed to stay awake past 10 pm since he got up at the crack of dawn. They usually celebrated with a nice brunch the next day instead, although last year had been around the time Ven started getting more distant, telling Roxas he’d had to go do some things for work and leaving with a few slices of toast. Roxas had spent most of the day at Namine’s to welcome in the new year with her family. But that had been the suburbs, not the city itself, and seeing the happy atmosphere cast the city in a warmer, more welcoming light.

This year, Xion’s offer to join her and the gang back in the islands had been tempting. She’d already sent him pictures of the massive beach party on Main Isle, including pictures of his cousin that could probably be considered blackmail material. He did miss her, sad that they would be spending another holiday apart, but Axel had asked him first, and Xion had only laughed and wished him well when he explained this, saying she “wouldn’t want him to start off the new year getting cockblocked by his sister.” And then she’d proceeded to read him the weather reports, 75 and sunny for them, while Radiant Gardens was barely pushing 30 degrees, and they’d gotten five inches of snow three days earlier. Roxas was maybe a  _ little _ bit jealous. Some sunshine would be nice right about now.

Axel looked back over his shoulder to check on Roxas, caught his eye and grinned, then kept ploughing forward through the crowds. Roxas felt the squeeze on his hand, and the world felt a little warmer. He smiled into his scarf, feeling the blush on his cheeks. He would take Axel over sunshine any day.

“Where are we going?” he asked yet again, laughing as Axel pulled him up close. Axel’s arm went around him, the other hand tugging Roxas’ knit cap over his eyes.

“You’ll see!” Axel said, “but we’re almost there, so eyes closed, no peeking.” That wasn’t quite an answer, but Roxas relented, trusting Axel to not take them into a dark alley where they’d get mugged or something. Besides, Demyx had been excited about the surprise, practically bouncing off the walls when Roxas had stopped in to see Ven that afternoon. But he’d promised Axel he wouldn’t say anything, and although Roxas had tried to fish for hints, Demyx refused to divulge anything other than “Dress warm!”

Axel led him further from the crowds, the murmur of their conversations getting more muffled as they made their way down what Roxas could only assume was an alleyway. Axel maneuvered him to a stop, guiding one of Roxas’ hands up to rest against the wall as he pulled away.

“Ok, gimme one sec to get the door open then we can get inside and you can open your eyes.”

Roxas heard the faint jingle of keys and scrape of metal against metal, and the quiet muttering as Axel fought with an apparently sticky door. A grunt, two, and then there was an unhappy squeal of hinges, and a victorious “ha!” from Axel. Roxas allowed Axel to usher him into the building, and heard the door close with a heavy thunk behind them.

“Ok! You can open your eyes for now, but only ‘cause there are stairs and I think it’ll be easier in the long run.” Axel lifted the cap from over Roxas’ eyes, grinning as Roxas blinked at the sudden light. Axel leaned down, stole a kiss, then handed the hat back to him. “Hold onto this, though. You’re gonna need it when we get upstairs.”

“What  _ is _ this place?” Roxas asked. He followed Axel up the staircase, trying to get some sort of clue from the building’s interior, but it looked like some sort of storage facility, with large crates and boxes of old gears and metal beams propped up in the corners. There was an odd noise to the building, too, as though a giant motor purred and whirred at the heart of it, but Roxas couldn’t see any overt signs of machinery or engines. 

Axel laughed, reaching out to grab his hand and tug him up the stairs. “You’ll figure it out in a sec if you haven’t gotten it already,” he promised. 

They went up what had to be five flights of stairs, the strange whirring taking on a more mechanical rhythm, a constant ticking as they rose higher and higher into the air. Roxas could feel the temperature dropping as they climbed ( _ how was that even possible _ ??) and he was glad he’d taken Demyx’s advice to add in another layer of clothes under his jacket. It almost felt like the room was open to the outdoors, which didn’t make any sense, because the only building in the city that looked like that was--

He laughed as it clicked into place. “We’re in the clock tower?”

This earned him another quick smile. “Got it in one! C’mon, we’re almost to the top.” 

“Wait, how did you manage to get in here?” Roxas asked, thinking back to the door. It had  _ sounded _ like a key in the lock, but maybe it’d been lockpicks? It was hard to believe that Axel knew anyone who could sneak him into one of the city’s prized bits of architecture, and as much as he wanted to give Axel the benefit of doubt, he could see the lockpicking thing as the more likely scenario. If they got caught, they could get in  _ serious _ trouble. The thought of losing his scholarship and having to pay back the entirety of the Academy’s fees had him rooted to the spot, gripping the handrails.

“Relax, I have friends in high places, friends who trust me enough with keys to job sites,” Axel replied, then paused a beat. “Literally. I should’ve asked you about how you are around heights, I mean, you didn’t seem to mind the overlook so I figured this might be cool, but if you don’t wanna--”

“Axel, it’s ok,” Roxas interrupted. “Heights are fine, honestly I’m more worried about the possibility that we’re trespassing.”

Axel shrugged, stuffing his hands into his jacket. “Like I said, friends in high places. That includes the Historic Preservation Society, of which yours truly is a card-carrying member.” He grinned, then pulled out a small keyring, which he spun on one finger. “I’m also a paid consultant for some of the mural installations that’re going up around the city since I’m considered ‘up and coming local talent’, plus I’m in tight with the people in charge, which means I’m considered trustworthy enough to get site keys if there’s a project in the works.”

Roxas frowned, still unconvinced. “But… you’re a  _ tattoo _ artist,” he said, knowing that he sounded like a bit of an ass but not sure how to soften his concerns. “I mean, I know you do gallery paintings and stuff, but visiting a site during the day to advise about wall art is a little different than sneaking up to the roof of said jobsite with some random stranger.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I did everything above board and fully vetted things with Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather-- those’re the ladies in charge of, like,  _ everything _ . They were fine with it,“ Axel said, stuffing his hand back in his coat and pulling the coat closer to his body. He wasn’t quite pouting, but Roxas recognized the slight stiffening of his shoulders, as though he was bracing for an argument. Apparently he hadn’t planned for this kind of reaction, which tugged a bit of guilt from Roxas. Still, the thought of Axel approaching a stuffy board of directors and saying something along the lines of ‘I want keys to the clocktower so I can get lucky on New Years’ made him smile.

“You asked them if you could bring a date up here?” Roxas asked, and at Axel’s nod, he grinned. “What on earth did they say?” 

“They told me --and I quote -- ‘That would be lovely, dear, how very romantic!’ And then they proceeded to argue about if it would be more romantic to take you out to dinner first, have something waiting up on the roof, or to take you home and have something waiting when we got back. I left before they could start on my wardrobe.” Axel waggled his eyebrows. “Also, they think I’m  _ adorable _ , so you’d better watch out.”

Roxas laughed, finally taking the last few steps up the stairs to join Axel on the observation deck. “Do I need to worry about competition?” he asked, looping an arm through Axel’s and leaning against him. Axel radiated heat, and Roxas pressed a little closer still, soaking it in.

“Unless you’re filing for the role of nurturing grandma, I think you’re safe,” Axel laughed. “They’ve literally known me since I was born, Flora was Reno’s Kindergarten teacher and they’re all close family friends, sort of like a bonus set of grandmas. And they know me well enough to know that I’m not bringing you up here to get laid, do drugs, vandalize the premises, or get drunk enough to pee on the crowds below, so there really is nothing to worry about. And while it’s probably too late for dinner, I  _ did _ take some of their advice to heart. C’mon, everything is set up out here so we get the best view.”

Axel led him through the collection of columns and out onto the path that circled the clock tower’s observation level. Sure enough, as they rounded the corner and came to the western face of the tower, Roxas stopped, staring out at what could only be described as a sea of twinkling lights. 

He’d never seen the city like this, a view that made him feel like he was floating above the roofs of the city, but close enough that if he wanted to, he could reach down and touch the buildings below. Even the trolley tracks had been decorated for the holidays, turning them into a river of white lights and red bows that cut through and around the city. It was  _ breathtaking _ . He wasn’t good with words, but fortunately Axel didn’t seem to expect him to say anything.

“And the view isn’t the  _ only _ reason I brought you up here,” said Axel, nudging him further down the path. Roxas then spotted what could only be described as a nest of blankets and sleeping bags, what looked like a camping stove, and a bag of marshmallows. Axel pulled him towards it, settling him down and draping a blanket over top of him. Then he extracted a thermos from the inside of his coat and set it on the small stove, which was quickly up and running. 

Roxas watched him carefully prepare two cups of cocoa, complete with marshmallows, and gratefully accepted the steaming cup. Then, he held up the blanket to let Axel slide in beside him. They cuddled together, shifting to find the most comfortable position to share heat without spilling the drinks. Roxas leaned his head against Axel’s shoulder and sighed, staring out at the city that stretched out before them.

Axel tilted his head to look down at him. “That’s a good sigh, right?”

“This is completely and utterly amazing and I feel like I’ve been blessed by three fairy godmothers whom I’ve never actually met but they’re already looking out for me,” he laughed, hand digging through the blanket to find Axel’s. He gave it a squeeze when he finally found it. 

Axel laughed, pulling Roxas closer and tucking the blanket up around them to block out the cold. “Haha, so does that mean I get to play the role of dashing prince?”

“As long as you don’t refer to me as the damsel in distress and leave the sword fighting to me, we can roll with that,” Roxas agreed. “I wish I had one of Namine’s Christmas crackers left, they came with paper crowns and we could’ve completed the look.”

“We could go with the ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ getup instead, no crown required,” suggested Axel. “I dunno how well a paper crown would stay on if there’s a breeze up here.”

“There’s nothing saying that one option excludes the other,” laughed Roxas. “But you probably don’t wanna start stripping at the top of the clock tower. Shared body heat only goes so far, and you  _ did _ promise not to try to get laid up here, right?”

“Heart of ice,” complained Axel, although he pulled Roxas further onto his lap. Roxas stretched out to put the cup somewhere they wouldn’t accidentally upset it, then allowed Axel to pull him closer, dragging the blankets up further. The new position made it that much easier to reach up and pull Axel down for a quick peck before letting their scarves fall back in place.

“You are incredible and thoughtful and I would definitely like to show my appreciation once we’re back inside where the temperature is above freezing so this supposed ‘heart of ice’ has a chance to defrost a bit,” he said, and he felt Axel chuckle, even through the many layers of padded and insulated clothing. He leaned back to put his head on Axel’s shoulder again, looking out over the city lights. “Thank you for this, I mean it. This is infinitely better than lounging around on the couch in PJs to watch fireworks.”

“The night is young, the PJ thing is still doable when we get back.” Axel gave him a squeeze. “But we could also skip the PJ step altogether and then experience all kinds of fireworks tonight, if you know what I mean.”

“Dork,” Roxas laughed, nestling in closer. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

They fell into a quiet lull, hearing the crowds in the streets below, pointing out errant fireworks that were shot off rooftops and in city parks. Probably illegal fireworks, but they were pretty, and the night’s noises were remarkably siren-free, all things considered. Roxas took it all in, fingers idly brushing the back of Axel’s hand as they sat together, enjoying the night.

“So, why here?” he asked after a time had passed. “I mean, beside the great view and the fact that you have an in with the landlords.”

“What better place to ring in the new year than on a clock tower?” Axel asked, and Roxas snorted a quick laugh, burying his face back into the wool of his scarf. “I’ve had the keys for a while,” Axel admitted after a moment. “I like to come up here and get away from stuff for a while. It’s a good place to clear your mind, and the ladies know I won’t make a mess, so it works out for everyone. Plus, I dunno if you noticed, but the view  _ is _ pretty sweet. The fireworks should practically be exploding in our faces.”

“Can you tell me about your work here?” Roxas asked, leaning back to look up at him. “What kind of murals are you painting?”

“Eh, it’s part of the continuing Radiant Gardens initiative, public works and beautification, that kind of thing,” Axel said. “They’re asking artists from all over the city to add something that represents what the city means to them.”

“More hearts?” Roxas asked.

Axel laughed. “I mean, apparently everyone and their aunt wants a heart tattoo, but no, I was thinking something a little more region-specific. Since we’re in the Twilight Town area, I thought I might do something with the sun or the trolley, or maybe even the view from up here. You can just make out the ocean if you watch the sunset from here, it’s really pretty.” He tightened his hug on Roxas, leaning down to nuzzle the back of his head. “I have a couple of designs that’ll be hung in the next gallery showing, I just need approval from the fairy godmothers, as you call them.”

“They don’t like your work?” Roxas asked.

“They can’t agree on which design works best for the location I’ve been given,” Axel clarified. “Honestly at this point I think I might just paint a new piece and give it to them as my final offer.”

“I'd like to see them, if they're not already packed up for the show,” said Roxas. “I like seeing things the way you see them, they’re…” He trailed off, embarrassed to finish the sentence. ‘Revealing’ could be interpreted in several ways-- and  _ would _ be, since it was Axel-- but he couldn’t think of a better word for it. 

Axel’s work showed off his appreciation for small details, for finding ways to make something that typically came across as ugly and ordinary blossom into something transcendent. Maybe it was the way he used light and shadow, or maybe it was in his use of colors. Roxas lacked the vocabulary needed to competently talk about art, and saying things like ‘awesome’ and ‘pretty’ didn’t carry the significant weight or nuanced feelings evoked by looking at Axel’s work. Maybe that could be his new year’s resolution-- to read up on art theory enough to hold a competent conversation with Axel and his artistic friends.

“I’m going to interpret the silence as ‘mindblowing and indescribably awesome’,” Axel said, but Roxas shook his head, thinking of a word that would work for now.

“ _ Inspiring. _ ”

Their conversation was interrupted by the buzzing of Axel’s phone, which he rooted around in his jacket to find.

“One minute to midnight,” he explained, pulling it out and turning off the alarm. “Just as a heads up for when fireworks start. It would suck if we were just chilling out and then all of the sudden BAM! Explosions in your face.”

Roxas laughed. “I mean, so long as we don’t have to worry about literal explosions up here.” When Axel didn’t say anything, Roxas pulled forward so he could turn around and look at Axel. “The fireworks don’t  _ literally _ go off right here, right? Like, we don’t have to worry about fire hazards or going deaf from the mortars exploding, right?”

“....I don’t think so?” replied Axel, although the questioning tone in his voice left Roxas speechless. Axel leaned forward and rummaged in the bag with the marshmallows, pulling out a box of earplugs, which he handed to Roxas. “I mean, I got these in case but the fireworks are usually set off further down the street in the park, so even if there’s wind we should be far enough away that we don’t have to worry.”

“What do you mean--” Roxas started, but his worry was cut off as the first official firework rose into the air ahead of them, a red streak of smoke and fire that ended with a loud pop and a storm of glittery sparks rained down. It wasn’t quite as far as Roxas would’ve liked, but Axel had been right-- the fireworks seemed to be coming from a ways down the street, and the little wind that whistled through the tower was blowing towards the fireworks, not them, so they wouldn’t have to worry about smoke or any other debris floating their way.

This initial fear eased, Roxas forced himself to relax, settling back against Axel as more and more streams of light went up around them, and before long he was lost to the display, mesmerised by the lights. It went on for a good twenty minutes, a blur of color and sound and explosions, and Roxas only stayed grounded to the tower because of the warm anchor behind him, cheering at exceptionally loud displays, intensifying their hug when a particularly pretty display sparkled before them. The show ended with a fanfare of flares and percussive booms that left the tower rocking, slightly, and a heavy stillness hung in the air as the last of the smoke drifted away.

Roxas couldn’t quite move at first, still reeling from the intensity of it, only stirring when Axel seemed to move. A squeeze, a face pressed against the side of his own, a quiet “Happy New Years” whispered into his ear, and Roxas was able to move at last, turning to meet Axel with a kiss.

“Happy new years,” he replied, and laughed at the dopey smile he got in return. He grinned. “How quickly do you think we can clean this stuff up?”

“Why? Getting cold already?”

“Nah,” Roxas said,pulling the blanket off and folding it as Axel cleaned up the hot chocolate mess. “I wanna get home as quickly as possible for the  _ next _ round of fireworks.”

Axel laughed. “Happy new years indeed! I think I could get used to this tradition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot, but if you want mood music while you read, I wrote this chapter to the **["In the Rain" song from Miraculous Ladybug.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD7tXEo19cM&feature=youtu.be)** I thought it would be perfect for this kinda of super fluff.


	9. Coffee with Cissnei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set shortly after Chapter 7 of "How the Light Gets In"

There were few things that managed to unsettle Aerith. 

Oh, she got upset and angry, and she worried over patients, stressing when treatments didn’t take as well as they’d hoped, or mourning the loss of one soul, and celebrating the introduction of another. As a doctor, she found that sometimes she had to step back and distance herself from what was happening, else it consume her.

But seeing the Turks at the hospital again had shaken her to the core. 

She was a professional, of course, and so she’d managed not the flinch every time she walked past the guards on duty, had even managed to smile and greet them when she came to visit Ven. But she walked a little faster when she left, and started using other routes to check on her other patients. She would endure their presence because she had to, not because she’d forgotten or forgiven what they’d done.

And of course she’d told Cloud about it the day they’d been assigned to the room, both so he knew what was going on in Roxas’ life, but also because he  _ knew _ what having them onsite did to her. He hadn’t said anything, but he’d stayed with her through the night and hadn’t left since. He’d officially moved in, and she hated that it had taken the threat of the Turks to make him finally make up his mind. It helped to have him there at night, of course, but it still stung.

He still had a few odds and ends bits of furniture to get rid of, things that he’d bought to fill the space of his apartment, rather than items that had any use, and today he’d managed to enlist Barrett to help him move some of the heavier pieces and take them to the donation center. They’d make a day of it, and she was sure that while Cloud wouldn’t have much to say about it, it would do him good to have a ‘guys day out.’ Not all memories from times before were bad.

She ducked into the staff lounge to grab a quick drink. She had mountains of paperwork to get through, and a board meeting to prepare for, and she still needed to figure out what they were doing for Friday night dinner. She turned on the kettle and pulled down a mug, thinking over what they’d done the last time they’d had people over. She could ask Cloud to swing by the store on his way home, maybe pick up--

“Oh! Um, hello.”

Aerith almost dropped her mug as Agent Cissnei’s voice disrupted her thoughts.

“Hello,” Aerith replied, not unkindly, but lacking warmth to invite further conversation. She turned back to the coffee bar to gather her thoughts, but, unlike coffee, there really wasn’t much she could do to dawdle at the counter. She’d put the sugar in already, and she didn’t take milk, and while she waited for the water to heat, she’d just be standing there, keeping her back to the agent and doing everything she could to  _ not _ look at woman sitting at the table a few feet away. 

Aerith knew that fussing around with a spoon while keeping her back to the agent wasn’t going to make this conversation any less difficult. So, she did what she always had to when facing a tough situation: she smiled.

Cissnei visibly relaxed, and gestured to the seat across from her. After a moment of hesitation, Aerith set the mug down and joined the agent. She kept the smile firmly in place, although it was easier to hide behind the mug of tea.

“You’re looking well! That’s good,” said Cissnei when it became clear that Aerith was not going to start the conversation.

Aerith nodded, keeping her expression set. “Yes, I’ve been well. Thank you. And you?”

Cissnei smiled, the expression looking more natural on her. “I’m well! Things have been downright quiet since-- well, it’s been quiet.”

“That’s good,” replied Aerith, keeping her voice light and her gaze anywhere but on the woman in front of her. 

They fell into another lapse of awkward silence, neither of them really knowing what to say beyond the niceties of small talk. Aerith didn’t know what Cissnei was feeling, but she felt both parts of the “fight or flight” reaction simultaneously, her own emotions warring for control. She kept a bland smile in place, however, and tried to ignore them, concentrating on her tea instead.

“Lux is very lucky to have you as his doctor,” said Cissnei. “I’ve read over his files, and it sounds like you’ve managed to speed up the recovery process to an impressive degree. But he still doesn’t remember what happened?”

Aerith stiffened, the grip around her mug tightening. “My responsibilities are to see that he is given proper medical attention, and to ensure that we’re doing our utmost to provide the best plan for recovery at our disposal. I’m making him as comfortable as possible throughout that process. Interrogation is up to the police, once he’s well enough to answer their questions.”

Cissnei held up a hand, holding off further comments. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just glad that he has you as a doctor, since I know you’ll do everything in your abilities to help him out. That’s all I meant.”

Aerith nodded and took another sip of tea, letting the false smile drop. Cissnei played with the edge of the papers on the table beside her, a thoughtful expression on her face.

“I have to admit, I’m a bit surprised you decided to go the experimental route on this one,” she said. “I would’ve thought with your history and everything, you’d want to stay shy of untested methods. Is he seeing ghosts?”

Aerith frowned and caught the agent’s gaze. She hadn’t gotten to know the agent particularly well the last time the Turks descended on the hospital, but she didn’t remember Cissnei as one of the agents who employed subtle threats to find the answers she was looking for. And while Cissnei’s face seemed open, a little embarrassed, even, Aerith did not lower her guard.

“Doctor Bunansa’s research  _ has _ been tested, as you well know,” she replied, ignoring that last snide question. “I was not going to withhold a treatment that might prove life changing for my patient because of a personal history or bias.”

“But I also notice that you haven’t introduced MAKO into the treatment plan, and wasn’t that a major part of Strife’s recovery?”

“I will not poison my patient simply to discover if the Nethicite protein can utilize MAKO to speed recovery at a rate that is fast enough to counterbalance the substance’s other, detrimental effects,” she said. “Strife’s recovery was an anomaly, not a baseline, and I cannot condone the decisions that intentionally put a patient at risk. The treatment plan we put together for Lux reflects this.”

“Yes, but--”

Whatever Cissnei had to say was interrupted by a slight cough, and the two women turned to see Demyx standing in the doorway, file in hand. 

“Sorry for the interruption, Doctor Gainsborough, but you wanted those test results before your meeting at 3…” he trailed off, and she looked up at the clock, seeing the time and standing to go.

“Yes, thank you, I’ll look over them now. Agent,” she said by way of farewell, and quickly headed out of the room, taking the file Demyx offered. “Thank you for that,” she said as they walked down the corridor.

He shrugged. “I’m not looking forward to having them here, either. It’s gonna be weird not seeing Zee and the other around.”

“It’s strange what we get used to, isn’t it?” she asked, though her thoughts were focused on the events of five years ago, the last time the Turks had been at the hospital under official duties. It didn’t help that she’d never wanted to see any of them again, on a personal or professional level. 

Still, as far as initial clashes went, this one had been mild. She only hoped that the treatment did work half as well as she thought-- for Ven’s sake, of course, and his brother’s. But the sooner Ven was well enough to move from her ward, the better. In the meantime… well, she was glad that Cloud would be waiting for her when she got home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So APPARENTLY I never posted this, even though it was written like.... three months ago. Whoops! I probably got distracted by the smut I was writing, haha.
> 
> This is less of a tie-in to HTLGI and more of a sneak peek at the thing I'll be working on after HTLGI is done, which, as of yet, is unnamed because I haven't figured out what will work best. I'm thinking something along the lines of "Legacy" or "Living Legacy", which might be too blunt and obvious for the plot. We'll see! I have a bunch of chapters to deal with before I have to finalize my decision.


	10. Who...Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set between chapters 12 and 13, Cloud makes a quick visit to check in on Ven at the hospital, per Roxas' request, and gets more than he bargained for.

It was weird, going to the hospital and not immediately heading towards Aerith’s office. He was going to go there after his visit anyway, of course, because he planned on surprising her with lunch since this was a paperwork day, but Cloud’s first stop was down the Extended Care wing, then on to the section that acted as the guarded ward. He’d called ahead, they were expecting him, but that didn’t stop the Turks on duty from blocking him from the door until they’d double-checked his credentials, patted him down to check for weapons, and then had him sign in and leave his license with them. 

Still, it could be worse. At least they weren’t asking for blood samples or anything. 

Initial interrogation aside, it was remarkably easy to gain entry into Ventus Lux’s room. Maybe it was because he’d told Aerith he was going to visit, or maybe Roxas had said something, or maybe security was going lax and the guards at the door were just for show. Still, he was surprised to walk into a relatively roomy space with a wide window (wasn’t that a security risk for snipers or something?), a computer setup, and several chairs that were clearly meant for visitors. The occupant sat in one of the cushy chairs, reading a book.

Ven looked up as Cloud and the agent entered, and for a moment, Cloud could see what Roxas would look like in a few years-- the brothers shared the same facial structures, same pale blue eyes-- even the same unrelenting cowlicks that gave them the appearance of a constant bed-head. They also shared the same irritated look when they saw something they didn’t like. 

Fortunately, Cloud had two years of learning to deal with Roxas’ moods under his belt, so he put on a mild smile and stepped further into the room.

“Hello, I don't think we've ever formally met, but my name is--”

“I know who you are,” Ven’s rasping voice cut him off before he could finish, then he turned his waspish gaze to the guard who hovered in the doorway, silent but attentive. Ven waved him out. “It's fine, you can go.”

Apparently the agent was  _ also _ used to dealing with Luxes; he exited without a word and closed the door with a click, leaving Cloud awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. Ven gestured to the chair.

“Sit,” he said, and Cloud did so, settling down and wondering what the hell Roxas might’ve said to his brother to get him so worked up about a visit. At least the older Lux seemed to be well enough to hold a conversation. He’d hoped that would be the case, since it’d been a week since his treatment, according to Roxas. 

Ven closed his book and held out his hand. When Cloud reached out to take it, Ven gave a low, amused cough of a laugh, waving his hand away. 

“Give me your phone,” he said without preamble, and held out his hand again.

Cloud blinked. “I... what?”

“Your phone. Give it to me.” Ven’s hand trembled a bit as he held it out, but he kept it outstretched, waiting, clearly unwilling to take no for an answer.

Cloud balked, dropping his hand into his lap. “I don't think that's--”

“I want to text a mutual acquaintance,” Ven interrupted again, giving Cloud an all-too-familiar look that said ‘stop being stupid and just do it.’

Cloud picked at the seam that ran along the knee of his jeans as he tried to remind himself why he was here.  _ Do it for Roxas, he asked you to and the kid never asks for anything.  _ And then,  _ Aerith asked you to. And she told you it might be an odd encounter. _

“How do you know that I know this person?” he asked, buying himself some time. Should he even consider it? While Ven was clearly not being held in uncomfortable quarters, Cloud was familiar enough with the other side of prison bars to recognize a cage when he saw one. He shivered, knowing that while Roxas probably didn’t realize it, Ven most likely did.

Another raspy laugh, low and almost inaudible. “I know more about you than you know about yourself,” Ven said, lowering his hand as the shaking grew more pronounced. “Cloud Strife, aged 34. Former member of the AVALANCHE group, fully pardoned after your commendable actions during the Reactor Incident, although there was dispute about the remaining charges on your record. Also one of the only survivors of said incident, in a firestorm that took out more than 200 elite soldiers, including 16 Keyblade Masters. Medical reports cite inexplicable and as-of-yet unreplicated recovery rates, as well as extensive hallucinations and paranoia. Until, of course, you realized that the only way you’d ever walk free was if you pretended they stopped, and you were permitted leave soon after. Am I close?”

Cloud was reminded of Roxas’ tendency to hyperfocus on small details and subtle clues -- it must have been a family trait, although the girl seemed normal enough. He swallowed, unable to speak, but Ven didn’t seem to care.

“I was head paper pusher on your case,” Ven sighed, giving Cloud that resigned, tired look that Roxas always gave him when he surprised him with an extra set of laps around the gym. “We actually met a couple of times although you clearly weren't thinking right at the time. You might’ve forgotten, and I might be the one convalescing here, but I remember. Phone,” he prompted again.

Cloud handed it over without a word.

“Thanks. Don't worry, he'll know it's me, even though we're not exactly on a first-name basis anymore,” Ven said, giving Cloud a pointed look before tapping the screen to pull up contacts. He typed out a short message before Cloud heard the chime of a sent message. Ven handed the phone back, not bothering to delete the message, which was cryptic in and of itself, but the intended recipient was even more odd.

“I couldn’t imagine the two of you on speaking terms,” admitted Cloud, wondering how in the hell Cid Highwind had gotten caught up in Ventus Lux’s rolodex. 

Had Ven found records of Cid’s contributions to the AVALANCHE group, back in the day? That was the only possible blackmail material a cop might hold over Cid to make him squirm, and the old codger wasn’t really someone to take shit from anyone unless there was something bigger at stake.

Still, he couldn’t fathom what “Plz deploy gift; Highwind Takes To The Skies” might mean, other than Cid might be holding onto some sort of illegal package for the cop sitting beside him. But if it was illegal, would Ven be so casual about it? Or did he think he could hold fabricated medical records over Cloud to keep him quiet?

“What do you want?” he asked at last when Ven failed to elaborate further on his history with Cid. Ven shrugged, picking up the book he’d been reading before Cloud had come in.

“You’re the one who came to me, what do  _ you _ want?”

Cloud closed his eyes and counted to 10. Roxas could be a snarky little shit sometimes, too, and it usually was a defense mechanism when he was stressed out about stuff going on in his life. Cloud tried not to take it to heart. In fact, Roxas probably learned that coping method from Ven, god help him.

“Your brother asked me to stop by,” he said at last. He opened his eyes to give Ven a level look, the one he used to get Roxas to stop bitching about endurance exercises. Ven just stared back, face impassive. “He’s worried about you, thought the side effects of the treatment might upset you, and asked if I would talk with you. Roxas is a good kid.”

“He is,” Ven agreed, and Cloud saw the shield crack, the warmth in Ven’s expression and tone getting through the cool facade of indifference. “I’m not sure what  _ you  _ can hope to accomplish, though.” The shield snapped back in place, shutting out Cloud once again.

“Peace of mind for a pupil and friend,” Cloud said, getting to his feet. “Roxas asked me to stop by; now I can tell him I did. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s your business, he doesn’t need to hear it from me.”

He headed towards the door, not really sure if he’d managed to accomplish anything other than confirm that the Luxes were a headache, and debated whether or not he should ask Cid what the hell the text was about, or if it was better to just pretend the whole damn thing didn’t happen. He’d tell Aerith, of course, but Roxas didn’t need to know how poorly the brief interview had gone.

“Does the taste ever go away?”

The question was so out of the blue that Cloud didn’t actually register it until he was halfway across the room. He stopped, paused, then turned. Ven was watching him, book back on the bed.

“The weird tangy taste, not really metallic or coppery, more like…”

“Like biting into tinfoil,” Cloud supplied, knowing the flavor immediately and shivering at the memory. “After a few months. It’s the MAKO, when they switched over to the diluted nethecite mix it faded. I can’t eat mushrooms anymore, though, there’s something in their texture that reminds me of it.”

“Mushroom are delicious,” argued Ven, but there wasn’t a lot of heat in that statement. Small talk in lieu of an apology.  _ Fucking Luxes _ , could they not just… say what they meant?  Cloud sank back into the chair, giving Ven a weary smile.

“When I had my first pizza after the incident, most of the farms at the time were still using water warmed from the reactors,” he said. “The taste seeped into everything it touched, but I guess having the stuff flowing through your veins and ingesting it just sort of… overwhelmed everything else.”

“So you still taste it, if you eat something with mushrooms?”

“Sometimes,” he said. He waited a beat. “It does get better, as you’re weaned off. Less lost time. You feel more yourself, less detached, as the doses go down. Of course, you feel invincible while you’re still feeling the immediate effects after an injection, but... “ he shrugged, not really sure how else to describe it, but Ven nodded, staring off into the room.

“No regrets?”

Cloud laughed, short and slightly bitter. “I wasn’t given a choice in the matter, but… no. I’m in better shape now than I was before everything went down, in no small part to the Sid’s work. It wasn’t fun, but I don’t regret it.”

“Hmm,” was all Ven said before he picked up his book again. Apparently he really was getting dismissed for real this time, so Cloud stood and prepared to leave again. He turned at the door, seeing Ven watching him again, strange expression on his face.

“Good luck with everything,” he offered, not really knowing what else to say. 

Ven nodded, then said, “Thanks for keeping an eye on him for me.”

Cloud’s smile was genuine this time, and he headed out the door to collect his things from the guards. The Luxes could be irritating and a pain in the ass… but somehow, despite it all, you couldn’t help but like them. Ven was gonna be ok. And, for Ven’s sake, he’d make sure Roxas was gonna be ok, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title "Who...Are You?" is from the FFVII OST


	11. Bon Appétit (Explicit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a Valentine's Day-themed fic for all of you guys. :) Takes place before chapter 14.
> 
> Smut per request of its_Ace121, hope you like it! <3  
> (This is a friendly reminder that I do take requests, guys, either here, [on the main fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11437335/chapters/25629888), or [on my Tumblr page!](http://sirladysketch.tumblr.com/))

Candles Lit? Well, they were battery operated, but yes, check.

Dinner? In the oven, timer set, and accompanying dishes cooking.

Table settings? Already in place, complete with wine and water glasses.

Romantic music? Well… he’d had the song he’d fondly dubbed “Axel’s Hips, Hot Damn” playing while he set things up, and Olette had given him what she called ‘a surefire playlist to get the mood right.’ He wasn’t sure what that actually entailed, but if it sucked they could always swap out playlists with something from Demyx and the gang.

Charming dinner companion with an open invitation to stay the night?

….missing.

Roxas checked his phone again for what was probably the fiftieth time that night, but resisted sending yet another text message. He wasn’t  _ quite _ irritated enough to resort to calling Demyx, who’d no doubt use some sort of emotional blackmail to find the missing boyfriend in question, but… Roxas wasn’t happy. 

It was less about Axel being late and more that  _ because _ Axel was late, the entire timeline for the evening was shot to Hell. If Axel didn’t get his sorry ass to the apartment in the next 6 minutes, the chicken would burn. He could take it out, of course, but then it’d be  _ cold _ , and reheating it would make the meat tough and the cheese for Axel’s portions rubbery, plus there were the vegetables that needed to start steaming in about five minutes, and he’d already uncorked the wine and had it breathing on the counter. 

He worried that he’d made a faux pas by pairing chicken with red wine, but the description had sounded good at the time and he still got dodgy looks when he went to the liquor store and he  _ hated _ getting carded so he just grabbed what was close and hoped for the best. If it ended up being gross, well, he always had energy drinks, soda, and whatever beer Hayner had left the last time he was there.

Roxas slumped onto the couch and glared at the door, willing it to open with an apologetic Axel on the other side. It wouldn’t even be so bad if he had something to  _ do _ , but he’d finished his work and studies for the night, he’d thoroughly cleaned the apartment earlier that day, and even the few dishes he’d used to cook with had been cleaned, dried, and put away. It would be rude to start a movie when he was expecting company (even if the company himself was rude enough to be late). And while the “Hot Damn” song was cycling through the playlist once again, he wasn’t really in the mood for it right now.

Axel was late. Roxas was…  _ frustrated _ .

He looked at the last message he'd gotten nearly 40 minutes ago, “30 mins tops,” but did that mean 30 minutes until he arrived at the apartment, or 30 mins until his impromptu client meeting was done, then an additional 20 minutes to get from the gallery to his place? 

He’d initially assumed the former, sticking the chicken in the oven and getting the rest of the meal lined up, but now he was starting to think that maybe it was the latter, which meant that the chicken would be 20 minutes overdone or cold. 

He  _ really _ wanted tonight to go well. It was the first time in a while he’d really had the chance to take the night off and fully focus on romance and stuff, but it was really hard not to get worried that the little inconveniences that had popped up throughout the day were some sort of sign that maybe tonight wasn’t the best night for this, and if Axel was late, that was just another strike in the ‘try again later’ margin. Which… he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to muster up the courage to do again, at least not for a while. He’d spent the entire day trying to hype himself up for this, so if Axel was late, then stuff would be ruined, and it would clearly be a sign that he wasn’t supposed to--

There was a knock at the door, then Axel came through as he realized the door had been left unlocked. He sighed and slumped against the wall as he reached down to peel off his shoes, then groaned as he stood straight and leaned back to crack his back.

“God, sorry I’m late, traffic was a bitch--” and he didn’t get farther than that, since Roxas was on him in a heartbeat, pulling him down for a quick kiss before pushing him towards the table.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” he said, reaching over and grabbing the wine off the counter. He plunked it down in front of Axel, who blinked at it. “So have some wine or something while I get stuff ready?” he finished, more of a question when he realized Axel had sort of frozen in place, mild panic on his face.

“...Did I miss an anniversary or something?” Axel asked, frowning at the dimly lit room and noting the romantic atmosphere. “Are you an anniversary kind of guy? ‘Cause, I mean, I’m more of a ‘let’s do fun stuff when we want’ kinda guy…” He trailed off, one hand rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to make eye contact with Roxas.

“No,” was the reply, but Roxas could tell that wasn’t putting Axel at ease. He forced himself to take a breath, two, then explained as he went about the kitchen, getting the last things out and preparing the garnish. “On both counts, no, you didn’t miss anything, and I’m not an ‘anniversary guy’, whatever the hell that means. I wanted to show you what I learned at my last cooking class, and I thought I would set the scene too, as it were.”

“Oh. Oh!” Axel brightened considerably, now that the burden of guilt had been lifted from his shoulder. “You wanted to impress me with your mad cooking skills?”

“Something like that. It should still be edible,” Roxas said, poking the chicken and checking to see that yes, it was pretty well cooked, hopefully not overly so. He was transferring the pieces onto a plate when arms came around him, Axel leaning over to nuzzle the crook of his neck.

“It smells great, can’t wait to tuck in. Can I help get stuff on the table?”

“Sure,” Roxas said, although he was loathe to interrupt the moment. He gestured with the spatula, since having a body draped over him sort of limited his movements. “Veggies are in the microwave, spaghetti is on the stove. I’m gonna get the rest of the chicken on the plate, the zap the sauce, and we can eat.”

“Smells good, what’re we having?”

“Chicken Parmesan-- well, you’re having the parm part, I’m just having breaded chicken with pasta.”

“Can’t wait to try it,” Axel said, pulling away to grab the dishes as directed. He deposited the veggies and bowl of noodles on the table, then picked up the wine bottle. “You want me to pour you one?” When Roxas hesitated, he laughed, pouring out a glass. “You wanna try a sip of mine before you commit to a glass?”

“You know me too well,” grinned Roxas, exchanging the plate of chicken for the glass and taking a sip. Bitter, and it felt like the liquid had actually sucked away all of the moisture in his mouth. He shook his head as he handed the glass back to Axel, who laughed and took a sip.

“This is pretty good,” he said, topping it off since apparently he was going to be finishing the bottle on his own. “You’ve just got an uncultured palate, gotta work on that.” 

“How do you drink that stuff? It’s like sucking on ash,” Roxas grumbled, reaching into the fridge and grabbing a bottle of soda, twisting off the cap, then pouring it into his wine glass. He clinked his glass with Axel’s, then took a sip. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” echoed Axel. “I guess I developed a taste for it ‘cause of all the hoity-toity art shows I had to go it. Red wine and cheese plates, you’ll hate it.”

“I’ll eat before I go, then,” Roxas said, and loaded one of the cheesy chicken breasts onto the plate before passing it over to Axel. he went to load his own plate up with food, too, although he watched Axel out of the corner of his eye, trying to gauge his reaction as he took the first bite.

“S’good!” was Axel’s verdict, spoken around a mouthful of chicken, noodles, and sauce. Roxas flushed and looked down at his own plate, poking at the food a bit before taking a small bite of his own. The damn butterflies were back, and it was hard to think of eating or drinking anything when he started trying to think of what to say,  _ how _ to say it, how to ask without… actually having to ask. 

He was on the 60th run-through of their impending conversation, since the dialogue still wasn’t going the way he wanted it to, or at least, not in a believable way, when Axel spoke up, interrupting Roxas’ mental script and bringing his attention back into the here and now.

“...are you  _ sure _ this is just dinner?” he asked, frown back on his face. While Roxas had been spacing out, Axel had eaten most of the stuff on his plate, while Roxas’ own food had barely been touched. “I mean, dinner is awesome, it’s just… it seems like a lot of effort, and you seem uptight about something, and it doesn’t seem to be about me having to deal with a last minute client because you’d be making snarky remarks about them if you didn’t have something else bugging you. What’s up?”

“It’s nothing important, I just--” Roxas stopped, twisting his napkin in his lap and feeling his face begin to burn. This wasn’t a scenario he’d practiced in his head-- Axel wasn’t supposed to outright  _ ask _ him anything, he was supposed to say something clever and sexy and sweet, and he just… had no ideas.  _ Breathe, Lux. You can do this. _ “Yeah, ok, I did want to make it a nice night.”

“Ok…. so, is there a  _ reason _ why you wanted to go all romantic all of the sudden?” Axel gestured to the atmosphere around them, “I mean, it’s nice, dinner’s great, and your place is very picturesque, it just doesn’t seem very…  y’know.  _ You. _ ”

“I wanted to…. try something new,” Roxas admitted, not looking up from his lap and hoping the dim lighting would hide the blush burning across his cheeks.

“Well, it’s nice, you’ve done a good job---”

“No, I mean, um, I wanna try something… _ new _ ,” Roxas interrupted, emphasizing the last bit and hoping Axel would get it without him actually having to come out and SAY it aloud.

Axel was silent for a few moments, and when Roxas risked a peek up to gauge his reaction, Axel was  _ grinning _ at him, fingers steepled over his plate and looking for all the world like the cat who stole the cream. When he finally caught Roxas’ eye, Axel’s grin widened.

“Mr. Lux, are you saying all of this was a setup to sweep me off my feet with plans to ravish me senseless in the bedroom?”

Roxas slouched in his chair and glared at him. “Well when you put it like  _ that  _ it sounds stupid.”

“I didn’t say  _ no, _ ” laughed Axel. “I’m just saying, if you wanted to switch positions all you had to do is say something, you didn’t have to go all out and try to, like, seduce me or anything.” Roxas watched him stand and stalk around the table, their eyes locked, grin firmly affixed. Axel leaned down and tilted Roxas’ face up, drawing him up for a kiss. “Dinner was a really nice, though.”

“You mean it?” asked Roxas when they broke apart, his voice coming out breathy and embarrassed.

“Yes on both counts. Communication, remember? I told you from the get-go that I’m up for anything you’re comfortable doing, you’ve just gotta  _ tell _ me, ‘cause-- and I don’t know if you know this-- sometimes you’re not exactly clear on what you’re thinking,” Axel said. He backed off, giving Roxas room to stand, but held him in place, hands going to Roxas’ hips. “So whaddya say, shall we put the leftovers away and thennnn- mmm.”

Roxas drew the moan out of Axel with a nip on the collarbone and a shift in his stance that brought his hip against Axel’s crotch, hands slipping into Axel’s back pockets to pull him closer. He felt the reaction and grinned against Axel’s skin as he felt the quickening heartbeat under his lips.

“Better idea-- bedroom  _ now _ , dishes later?”

“Mmm, yeah-- wait, no, I need--ah-- I need to -- mmm,  _ god _ , I need a couple of minutes to prep,” Axel panted, rocking against Roxas’ hip, hands sneaking up under Roxas’ shirt. Axel took in a shuddering breath and stepped back, holding up a hand. “Five minutes.”

“Setting the timer,” grinned Roxas, pleased to find that it was actually pretty easy to take the lead and make the other lose the ability to use proper syntax. He gestured to the plates and things on the table. “I’ll put stuff away in the meantime.”

This time, Axel wasn’t late.

True to his word, not five minutes had passed before Roxas was putting the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and closing it up, and Axel padded back into the kitchen. He grabbed the dish out of Roxas’ hands and carefully placed it on the draining board, then took a step back, waiting for Roxas to make the first move.

“So, what did you have in mind?” Axel asked. 

Roxas looked at him, considering their options. A lot of the things they normally did would be difficult to do with their positions switched, given their height difference. He could get Axel to go sit on the couch or something, but Roxas ended up in Axel’s lap often enough that they might get carried away and fall back into old habits. Old habits that were  _ fun _ , yeah, but tonight was about trying something  _ new. _

There really wasn’t enough room in the shower or tub to fool around, and kitchen and dining areas were strictly off limits (he had to draw the line  _ somewhere _ , and also, that was unhygienic, so they were a firm no). Their best bet would probably be the couch or the bedroom, but he was leaning towards the bedroom because sheets were easier to clean, and they had more space and fewer chances to accidentally kick a coffee table or roll off the edge.

“I… didn’t get that far,” Roxas admitted. “I got stuck on how to ask you and never got to the point in my hypothetical situations where you said ‘yes.’ I guess I just assumed you would know where to go from there, or we could just...figure it out as we go.”

“Fair enough,” laughed Axel, then waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna go makeout?” 

In response, Roxas stepped forward and pulled him down for another kiss, using the angle to his advantage as he got on his tiptoes to drag a thigh along the underside of Axel’s leg, just barely brushing against Axel’s groin. Axel sucked in his breath, and Roxas pushed forward a little harder, herding him towards the bedroom.

“Less talking, more moving,” he said, then laughed. “This would be a lot easier to do if I was six inches taller.”

“Haven’t you heard the expression, ‘size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do--’ ha, fine, right, I’m moving, I’m moving.” Axel allowed Roxas to move him into the bedroom, although he did steal another kiss as Roxas walked by him, followed by a quick butt squeeze when Roxas leaned over to close his blinds. 

“So… where do you want me?” Axel asked, watching Roxas pull the assorted supplies out of his dresser drawer. Roxas paused, then raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we’re in the bedroom, so… bed, maybe?” Roxas laughed, crowding into Axel’s space and guiding him down to sit on the edge of the mattress. He stole another kiss, but he was really hoping to take advantage of the extra height he got from standing to do that whole ‘tilt his head back and kiss him senseless’ tactic that Axel did so well.

Of course, Axel had more practice in the whole ‘taking-charge’ thing, but what Roxas lacked in experience, he hoped to make up in enthusiasm. He knew how Axel liked to be kissed, though, so that was a start, and he ran his fingers through Axel’s hair to lift his head up ever-so-slightly, leaning over to deepen the kiss. Axel responded by opening his mouth and tilting his head to the side, inviting Roxas in. Roxas leaned forward, one hand cradling the back of Axel’s head to keep him in place, and used a knee to nudge Axel’s thigh. 

Axel managed to scoot back on the bed without breaking contact, and Roxas kneeled in the space left behind, allowing his hands to wander. One stayed in Axel’s hair (the better to keep him in place), but the other trailed down, playing with the edge of Axel’s shirt and slipping underneath to trace the tattooed whorls hidden under cloth. Axel shivered, and Roxas could feel the ripple of muscles beneath his fingertips, but Axel didn’t move, waiting to see what Roxas would do next.

Roxas decided that while kissing was very nice, stripping would be even better. He pulled back and released his hold on Axel’s head, leaning back a little to make some space.

“Shirt off,” he said, tugging at the offensive fabric. Axel obliged, reaching down to pull it off in one fluid movement, then making a half-hearted attempt to fold it before tossing it to the side. Roxas grinned and leaned in again, one hand on Axel’s chest, the other sliding lower, palming Axel through the front of his jeans. “Maybe these, too?”

“Cut to the chase, huh? I can dig it,” laughed Axel, and pushed Roxas back a little. “I don’t wanna kick you in the face by accident when I wrangle these off.”

“As much as I like how you look in tight jeans, have you considered… I dunno, khakis?”

Axel snorted at that, actually fumbling with his zipper until Roxas backed up further to give him more clearance. “Shit, I’ll just stop wearing pants altogether if that’s my only other option.” The pants and briefs came off, chucked into the corner of the room, and Axel flopped back onto the bed, already half at attention and looking up at Roxas with a ‘what next?’ expression.

More kisses. Roxas knew that they needed more kisses, and also he needed his hands running along Axel’s sides, hips, legs, one hand returning to weave his fingers through Axel’s hair while the other slid down to give a firm, playful tug. 

_ That _ got Axel’s attention. Roxas used his hand in Axel’s hair to guide him onto his back, releasing his hold before it got too painful with the angle, bringing it back to brush away errant strands of bangs that escaped the supergel that held them together. The other hand, however, moved again, and this time their positions allowed Axel to rock with the movement, trying to chase Roxas’ hand as it slid down to the base again.

Roxas braced himself on one hand, using the other to tease Axel into shallow, quick thrusts. He also realized that bracing himself over Axel meant that he was in the perfect position to move  _ his _ hips, and he did so, grinding against Axel, feeling his own pants start to get uncomfortably tight. 

Axel seemed to be of the same mind, reaching down to stop Roxas’ movements with one hand while the other tried to pull Roxas’ shirt up and out of the way. Roxas sat back on his heels to pull off the shirt, and felt Axel sit up and start to work at the zipper of his pants. He gave a short hiss of pleasure as Axel eased him out of his boxers, well on his way to full attention and already starting to leak.

“Shit, um, one sec,” Roxas said, fumbling his way off the bed and kicking off the pants. He made a beeline for the drawer where he kept his supplies, pulling out both sizes of condoms (just in case) and started hunting for the lube when Axel grabbed him from behind and pulled him close, kissing him at the base of his back.

“Have I ever told you you have a great ass?” Axel asked, leaving wet patches of skin as he nipped and kissed his way along. “This is prime real estate for a tattoo, y’know.”

Roxas laughed, twisting a little to look down at Axel. “You want to give me a tramp stamp?”

“Just my name so I can stake a claim,” Axel replied, hand snaking around Roxas’ hip to grab the box of condoms and shake out a packet. The lube fell out, too, so that solved one mystery. Axel grinned. “I promise I’ll keep it classy, cursive and everything.”

“I’ve  _ seen _ your cursive, I know you’re the reason people go to Larxene for lettering,” Roxas said, turning and giving Axel a gentle push back onto the bed. Axel just laughed and scooted back onto the sheets, tilting his head down while looking up at Roxas, giving him what was probably supposed to be a ‘come hither’ look. It worked. Roxas felt himself get harder, could hear his heartbeat pick up as he saw Axel just  _ laying _ there, giving him that shit-eating grin as he shifted his legs further apart to make room for Roxas again.

It was a little more difficult to get the condom on than it usually was, and even more difficult to prep with lube when Axel was making those  _ noises _ and pushing against his fingers and fist, hands alternating between gripping the sheets for traction and pulling him down for a kiss while he ground against Roxas’ thigh. It took a good five minutes of interrupted prep before Roxas finally moved into position, holding one of Axel’s thighs in one hand while the other braced against Axel’s hip.

“Are you sure about this? Do you actually want to do this?” he asked, wondering if Axel was just humoring him, and wondering if he’d be able to do half as good a job at making Axel feel great as  _ he _ always felt, given that he wasn’t quite as, ahem,  _ well endowed _ . But Axel just laughed something about just  _ getting to it _ and Roxas flushed, embarrassed and excited all at once.

He adjusted his position until he was lined up against Axel, the heat of him almost overwhelming against his sensitive cock. As he carefully pushed forward, Axel gave an encouraging roll of his hips, brushing against Roxas and sending a shiver of anticipation through his limbs. He bucked forward instinctively and… missed.

Axel chuckled as Roxas threw him a dirty look, thinking that it’s utterly unfair that someone can be laying on their back, legs splayed, looking as wanton as possible and yet  _ still _ come off looking sexy and in control if the situation.

“You’re really overthinking this,” Axel said, shifting a little to raise his hips a little higher. “It’s not  _ fencing _ , don’t jab at me, just relax and roll with it.”

Roxas frowned, grabbing Axel's thigh and tugging it higher still, hoping the angle would be easier for them both. The next thrust didn't miss, and Axel's low chuckle dissolved into a gutteral moan. 

Roxas felt much the same way. It was hot, tight,  _ much _ better than he’d anticipated, but it was the fact that he got a good look at Axel's face while he moved, the reaction as he pushed his way further in, then withdrew to try another thrust-- that was worth all of the hours fretting over asking for this, wondering how the hell he was going to bring it up in regular conversation. 

He moved, and Axel responded with hips and panted curses, one hand reaching behind to grip the headboard, the other pumping in time with Roxas’ thrusts. Roxas took this as encouragement, picking up his pace and trying to see if different movements and angles would get different results. Axel seemed to like that, too, trying to lift his hips even higher to match Roxas’ increased rhythm.

It felt great, yeah, and Roxas could see the appeal, but… He couldn’t place his finger on  _ what _ felt off, but the angle was wrong, or he wasn’t reaching deep enough or fast enough or something. Neither of them seemed to be getting any closer, and while it could be fun to delay the end a bit longer, at this rate neither of them would finish, and that would suck on multiple levels.

Frustrated, Roxas slipped out and sat back on his heels, panting a little and feeling goosebumps as the light sheen of sweat began to cool off. “Can we, ah, try something new?” he asked, reaching down to shift the condom back into place.

“Just tell me where you want me,” said Axel, lowering his legs to a more comfortable angle.

Roxas bit his lip, thinking. If face to face wasn’t working, he could always try from behind, but he’d been enjoying the expressions on Axel’s face, and even with Axel on his knees, the height difference would make the angle tough unless he used a pillow or something to give him a boost, and that was just  _ sad _ . There had to be some sort of compromise that they could both enjoy….

It came to him, then, and he leaned forward to pull on Axel’s shoulder, shifting him to turn onto his stomach. Axel braced himself on his forearms, starting to twist around to get his knees under him, but Roxas stopped him, grabbing Axel’s leg instead.

“Wait,” he said, shifting so that he was straddling Axel’s thigh while holding the other aloft. They ended up with Axel sort of half on his stomach, half on his side, and it looked like a somewhat uncomfortable position, but Axel made no complaints, he only rearranged some pillows to help keep himself propped up in this sort of sideways position. Roxas lined himself up again, then waited, checking Axel’s face. “Is this ok?”

“Move and let’s see,” Axel said, so Roxas moved, and Axel keened-- actually made a whimpering noise that he quickly muffled into the pillow. Roxas froze, only about halfway in, and tried to gauge Axel’s face, which was half buried into the pillows. He’d never heard that noise from Axel before.

“Is this bad? Should I stop?” he asked, worrying that the new angle might be painful or too much sensation. 

Axel forced his eyes open and shook his head, breathing deep. He let out another moan, this one a little more familiar sounding, and caught his breath long enough to stutter, “God, no, don’t stop, keep doing that-- ah, shit, yes,  _ that _ .”

Roxas was happy to oblige, the new position offering a slightly different squeeze, and a far better position to lean down and give Axel a hand, fondling the sensitive area behind Axel’s balls, but not lingering in any one place for too long. It also afforded for easier thrusts on his end-- probably not what Cloud had had in mind when he made Roxas do all of those lunges, but Strife didn’t need to know his efforts assisted in Roxas’ bedroom activities.

Axel’s responses were encouraging, too. Usually he took the opportunities between breaths and thrusts to murmur flirty suggestions about other things they could try, but Axel was barely getting any words out, giving little gasps and panted ‘ah!’s as he kept pace with Roxas’ enthusiastic movements. Axel’s eyes kept sliding shut, an almost pained expression on his face as he pushed back against Roxas, giving it his all.

Roxas knew it couldn’t last much longer; he could already feel his stomach muscles tightening in preparation, and little spots of white light were gathering at the corners of his eyes. Axel didn’t seem quite there yet, and Roxas was gonna be  _ damned _ if he didn’t help Axel get off, too.

He did the only thing he could think of-- he grabbed Axel’s leg and lifted it higher to rest on his shoulder. The effect was immediate-- the new angle meant Axel’s body was rubbing against him in a completely new and enticingly tight way. Roxas gave a few more sloppy thrusts as stars began to cloud his vision, and he came with a low moan. 

He pulled out and slumped beside Axel, who was still hard and slick with precum and lube, but apparently he  _ hadn’t _ managed to get Axel off, which was kinda ego-deflating. Axel wasn’t complaining, hand pumping long and rough strokes, but Roxas wasn’t going to just  _ leave _ him like that.

Roxas pulled Axel’s hands aside and leaned down, though he paused to look Axel directly in the eye as he said “Bon Appétit” and then swallowed him down to the hilt.

It didn’t take much after that, which was good because Roxas didn’t feel like he’d ever really gotten the hang of blowjobs, and Axel was crying out a few minutes later. Roxas pulled away, grabbed a tissue, and wiped his mouth, then reached down to pull of his condom, tie it off, and throw both things away. Then he crawled up to nestle against Axel’s side, feeling completely and utterly  _ exhausted _ , but in a good way.

“So, I’m thinking maybe we should do this again sometime,” said Axel, voice breathy and eyes half-closed. He rolled his head to the side, grin enthusiastic, even if the rest of him splayed boneless on the bed. “Soon. Frequently.”

“Ah, ok?” replied Roxas, who was starting to come back to his senses as the cool air made him more aware of how very naked they were, and how wonderfully warm Axel was. He was debating whether or not they should move a little to grab the blankets when his stomach gave an angry growl.

There was silence, then Axel chuckled, pushing Roxas to sit up. Roxas was summarily swaddled in his bed comforter, then guided towards the dining room, where the candles were still flickering merrily (thank god they were flameless, he’d completely forgotten about them.) Axel sat him down, then padded into the kitchen to open the fridge and pull out some of the leftovers from the meal before.

“You barely touched your meal, and sucking cock doesn’t count as part of a balanced diet,” Axel said, sliding a plate towards Roxas. “Eat up.”

“You want any?” Roxas asked, tucking into the now cold chicken, but finding that it still tasted pretty good, all things considered. Axel grinned, leaning over to give him a quick kiss, but not sitting down.

“I’m gonna go clean up,” he said, gesturing towards the bedroom and bathroom. His smile widened, and Roxas felt his tired body respond to that look. “But I am  _ definitely  _ interested in seconds.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was kinda tough to write because I realized that I don't think I've ever read any AkuRoku fics where Roxas tops-- the guy needs to be given a chance to have at it, haha. :p


	12. Big Brother is Watching (Out For) You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ven and Axel have 'The Talk', set a few days after the end of _How the Light Gets In_ , so spoilers, sort of!

Ven was alone when Axel walked into the room, although by the looks of it, Roxas hadn’t been gone long. The bed was still mussed and his computer sat locked but awake on the bedside table, a TRON animation idling as it waited for commands. Given that this was  _ Roxas _ , Axel figured that meant he’d probably only stepped out for a minute, maybe taking a quick walk around the halls to stretch his legs, or maybe today was the day he’d decided to go for it and try walking to the bathrooms down the hall, courtesy of Demyx or some other nurse to babysit his progress. If he planned to be gone longer than a couple of minutes, the place would’ve been tidied. Even drugged-to-his-gills Roxas would’ve made the bed or straightened up a little if he planned to be gone long.

Roxas might’ve been out, but Ven was awake and upright in one of the chairs by the window, a large book laid out in his lap. He looked up at Axel’s approach and took his legs off the other char, making room for Axel to sit beside him. Axel was less than excited by the prospect of looking out over the parking lot, but Ven had made the effort and Axel could interpret the invitation for what it was, so he dropped his things onto the ground and snagged the chair to settle in and wait.

“Morning!” he said, leaning over to rummage in his bag for sketchbook and pencil. No sense in sitting idle, right? “Guess I’m a little earlier than planned, huh?”

“Aerith’s getting another scan, just to make sure the bone’s healed before the cast comes off,” Ven replied. Something in his tone made Axel look up and catch his eye. “I’m glad you’re here, though. I wanted a chance to talk in private.”

Axel stopped looking for his things and sat back in the chair, giving Ven a thoughtful look before nodding. “Figured you might, sooner or later,” he said. He waited for Ven to start, knowing that this had been a long time in coming, and knowing that it wasn’t going to be sunshine and daisies as they reminisced about the ‘good old days.’

“He’s 21, Axel,” Ven said, his voice laced with just a touch of sharpness. “You’re 27.”

“26,” Axel corrected, “and he’s an adult, capable of making his own decisions.”

Ven gave him a look, the same one Roxas used when Axel added hot sauce to french fries they’d agreed to share. “And you don’t think it’s... _ unusual  _ for someone our age to be interested in someone who hasn’t even graduated school yet?”

Axel bit his lip, weighing his words before he spoke. “I think you’re not giving your brother enough credit,” he said at last, trying to soften it a bit. “You’ve been outta the loop for almost a year; Roxas has had to grow up pretty fast. I think you’d realize that if you just asked him. Have you? Asked him? What does he say about all of this?”

“He’s not in any condition to talk at the moment,” Ven said, waving aside that suggestion. “I plan to talk to him once they’ve lowered his pain meds. But you and I both know he’s not really mature or experienced enough to know the difference between a casual fling and something serious.”

Axel raised an eyebrow, tilting his head at that phrasing. 

“You think I’ve just been playing with your brother? Is  _ that _ what this is about? Because--and not that this is any of your business-- I’ve been pretty upfront with him from the get-go about what I wanted in the relationship.” Then it clicked, and he closed his eyes, briefly, before scowling at Ven. “Is the age thing what’s really bothering you? Or is it because we were friends first, and you’re angry that I got close to him, too?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Ven spat, but Axel could see the tension in Ven’s shoulders, and the thinning of Ven’s lips. 

Axel leaned back, crossing his arms. He could push a little more, he knew; he’d always been good at reading his best bud in school. Better to ask about the elephant in the room, first, and they could work on the smaller complaints after that.

“Are you pissed he’s gay?” he asked.

“What? No!” snapped Ven, and that, at least, sounded genuine enough. Still, it had the desired effect. Ven sighed, forcing himself to relax more and fully explain. “I just feel like I don’t know you anymore, and what I remember from school isn’t the most… well, let’s just say I liked you as a friend, but you had a tendency to change interests pretty quickly.”

“Ok, first off, I was a teenager when we last hung out, so cut me some slack. So maybe I had a new date every month, I was young and impetuous and carefree. I was spreading my wings, looking for a good time and finding it.” He laughed, remembering some of the things he’d gotten up to that Ven wouldn’t have approved of-- probably not before he’d moved, and definitely not now as a cop. Then he shrugged, slouching further back into the chair.

“The old me would tell you that the  _ new  _ me is boring” he continued. “I have a good, steady job, I’ve been getting bigger in the local art scene, I make my rent on time, pay bills, I know how to cook more than cup noodles… basically, I’m an adult.” Axel’s smile slid into a smirk, and he lifted his eyebrow again. “You’d know that, too, if you’d made an effort to reconnect when you moved back to the city.”

“...that’s fair,” Ven said after a long minute, and he closed his eyes, rubbing a hand over his face as though he was trying to clear away what he wanted to say next. “I guess I just… didn’t know how. The last time I saw you, I was still angry about Reno. And then with everything going on at work, it didn’t seem like there’d be downtime, and that when there  _ would  _ be, it would’ve been awkward, given how long I’d waited. I dunno, it was a bunch of things, I guess. But mostly it was Reno, I think.”

“Yeah, I got that when you threw me out of the room that one time,” laughed Axel. That helped, the two of them laughing, and some of the tension left the room as they came to an unspoken truce of sorts. Axel shifted in his seat, managing a shrug, despite his slouched position.

“Look, I’ll admit that maybe we dove in the deep end and got in over our heads at the start, but I think we’re gonna try again and take things slower this time around.” He paused, remembering Ven’s earlier words, and grinned. “Ah, well, like you said, we’ll talk once he’s a little more coherent. I don’t think we should be planning much beyond dinner plans at this point, he won’t remember anything.”

They shared a chuckle over that, too, but Axel wasn’t quite done. He looked Ven in the eye, sitting up a bit straighter in the chair and crossing his arms, willing Ven to object. “That said, I like him, and frankly what we get up to is none of your business.”

Ven returned his gaze, unflinching, but in the end nodded once, apparently satisfied with that response. “I just don’t want him hurt,” Ven said at last. 

Axel snorted, and leaned forward again to dig through his bag for supplies, conflict over. “That makes two of us.”


End file.
